not really sure what to say... ive never written a blog before this seems somewhat strange/awkward. i guess ill just say whats on my mind, i mean thats what these are for right? well im in school, even though i loathe it... and i justed joined the navy. joining terrifies and excites me. i know its something i want and can do, but i dunno,,, part of me feels like i might miss something ya know. im afraid that some monumental event may happen while im gone but then again what if some monumental event happens where im supposed go and im home. i guess im just stressed about the unknown, which i guess is somewhat natural but in all honestly it scares the shit out of me. i know im making the right choice for me and people say thats all that matters... but i cant help but wonder if its right for my friends and family. my brother has decided since i joined that he is now enlisting...fuck. i wouldnt be so stressed about it if i didnt think it was soely because of me. before i joined he never considered it when i joined he was pissed off and wouldnt speak to me. part of me hopes that he just listened to the things i said about it and heard something that intrigued him or that he liked, because thats what he claims... but the big brother in me cant help but feel helpless. i feel like he might be doing it because of me, or to be close to me... neither of which is concievable. i dunno maybe its just late and im rambling. anyways this was my first blog and if anyone reads it i hope you liked it... if you did leave me some comments, if not i would prefer you didnt say anything to harsh but to each their own.