Why must I be so inhumanly shy, world? What kind of absolute fucking prick was I in another life to have deserved this sort of torment, now?
Y'see, there is this girl. I have had one half of a conversation with her. And I am already immensely fond. As I told someone, "I felt my pupils dilate". The issue is that I have absolutely no fucking clue what to say. And, I don't wanna seem creepy about it.
Like, do I say, as she passes me my venti dark roast, "hi. I'm extremely shy, so I'm gonna turn seventeen shades of red in a second, but...do you, perhaps, wanna hang out some time?" It...it seems OVERLY lame. And, I'm known for being pretty Goddamn lame (I have a fucking Batman bumper sticker where my car manufacturer's logo should be).
Or, I could do what I always do: accept the beverage with a cheerful "thanks!", pour some cream in it, and walk the fuck out (see, that's not just a literal scenario. That's a beautiful metaphor for my existence).
Oh, dear God, help.
Y'see, there is this girl. I have had one half of a conversation with her. And I am already immensely fond. As I told someone, "I felt my pupils dilate". The issue is that I have absolutely no fucking clue what to say. And, I don't wanna seem creepy about it.
Like, do I say, as she passes me my venti dark roast, "hi. I'm extremely shy, so I'm gonna turn seventeen shades of red in a second, but...do you, perhaps, wanna hang out some time?" It...it seems OVERLY lame. And, I'm known for being pretty Goddamn lame (I have a fucking Batman bumper sticker where my car manufacturer's logo should be).
Or, I could do what I always do: accept the beverage with a cheerful "thanks!", pour some cream in it, and walk the fuck out (see, that's not just a literal scenario. That's a beautiful metaphor for my existence).
Oh, dear God, help.
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Just horrible timing. Perhaps it's just not meant to happen. I'll give it until this gift card runs out.