fuck I'm miserable. This comes and goes all the time lately. One minute I'm on top of the world, then something happens, a quick talk with someone or something and boom, everything gets back to me again.
I love spending time with my few friends that I have, but they're just not into all the things I am. I want to go out, get drunk and meet new people, but I just can't do it alone. I spent a long time alone when I moved here and was fine with it, but something (read: someone) changed all that and now I can't stand to be alone. It brings out all these feelings that people dont understand me, no-one thinks like I do and I dont have anyone to bounce ideas off or say the things I really think (not that I can't say what i think to my friends) but they won't get me.
I want to make a change and meet new people who I can enjoy everything with, but I need somewhere to start and I just feel trapped and stuck where I am. Im close with my housemate and I can talk to her. But lately she's been away for days at a time a lot with her bf's. This itself doesnt bother me, but shes usually here for me (even before she moved in) and open to going to the gigs and listening to the live music I'm into. The very last thing I want to do is become bitter towards her. So I need to vent somewhere...
I just need to find a way to get out of this cycle. Moving a long way away on my own was the best thing I ever did. But I've wasted a lot of my time in the past few years and it's really catching up to me. I was happy being ignorant and alone, but now I can't live without the affection. I can't keep a relationship together, anyone who is really interested in me I can't fall for and I chase after the unrealistic goals and don't get anywhere.
On the plus side, I've managed to wrangle together a few friends from the past, and my few friends around here for a good drunken weekend on my birthday, but once a year? I need more than that.
I need excitement and something new... but where can I find it... and how do I get there on my own?
I love spending time with my few friends that I have, but they're just not into all the things I am. I want to go out, get drunk and meet new people, but I just can't do it alone. I spent a long time alone when I moved here and was fine with it, but something (read: someone) changed all that and now I can't stand to be alone. It brings out all these feelings that people dont understand me, no-one thinks like I do and I dont have anyone to bounce ideas off or say the things I really think (not that I can't say what i think to my friends) but they won't get me.
I want to make a change and meet new people who I can enjoy everything with, but I need somewhere to start and I just feel trapped and stuck where I am. Im close with my housemate and I can talk to her. But lately she's been away for days at a time a lot with her bf's. This itself doesnt bother me, but shes usually here for me (even before she moved in) and open to going to the gigs and listening to the live music I'm into. The very last thing I want to do is become bitter towards her. So I need to vent somewhere...
I just need to find a way to get out of this cycle. Moving a long way away on my own was the best thing I ever did. But I've wasted a lot of my time in the past few years and it's really catching up to me. I was happy being ignorant and alone, but now I can't live without the affection. I can't keep a relationship together, anyone who is really interested in me I can't fall for and I chase after the unrealistic goals and don't get anywhere.
On the plus side, I've managed to wrangle together a few friends from the past, and my few friends around here for a good drunken weekend on my birthday, but once a year? I need more than that.
I need excitement and something new... but where can I find it... and how do I get there on my own?
The picture u got up now, u look just like Ralf Little!!!