As I've been away from writing for a good while, I figure there's no better place to start than with a good bit of heartbreak. Boo-fucking-hoo!
Her name is Desiree. I'd seen her in the hell that is my place of employment a few times, and as she was the prettiest woman I'd ever seen, no shit, I couldn't get her out of my head. When I saw her again, I told her this, asked her out, and much to my surprise, she said yes! She had just gotten out of a three year relationship, so we planned to take as slow as was necessary, which I was happy to do, and which worked well for a total of one long phone conversation and three dates.
Over the course of those three dates and one telephone conversation, I realized that I had more in common with this beautiful woman than anyone I'd ever met. We both had similar eclectic record collections (anyone who has the second Public Image Ltd album, one of the greatest things you'll EVER hear, a few inches from the slime that is Motley Crue is my kinda gal), we both came from eerily similar families, we both had an affinity for all things horror and Halloween (she drives a hearse for fucks sake, decorated her pad in Halloween decor, but isn't as cliched as many in the goth scene), and we're both English majors, vegetarians, atheists.
The conversation and laughter flowed freely, and I felt utterly at ease with her. I could tell that she was still going through some hell over her last relationship, so I remained a gentleman, and reassured her that slow was cool with me. Indeed it was, as it was rather romantic for a cat like me.
After a while, she became reclusive, only communicating with me via text message, and even failed to respond when I asked her what time she wanted me to pick her up for a date we had the following evening. When I politely bowed out, saying that I knew when I wasn't wanted, she apologized saying that she was in a bad place. When I asked if there was a spot for me in her life at a later time, she quite understandably couldn't say.
I gave her her space, and a week later, I asked her if her reluctance to see me recently hadn't just been a very nice way of saying that she wasn't into me. I would have been fine with that answer, as it would have allowed me to get on with my life. Instead, she said that she had already answered that question (she hadn't), and as such that meant that she and I were emotionally incompatible! I fought it for a bit, saying that she had misunderstood my text message (her only way of communicating), but I gave up quickly, left her a very polite text message, and deleted her number, expecting to be over the whole thing in a week or so.
Since then, I've had a terribly hard time getting over the fact that the woman with whom I had more in common and to whom I was more attracted than anyone I've ever met in my 35 years has quickly come and gone. For a lot of people, having a lot in common with a mate isn't as important as a lot of other things, but not for me. If you eat meat, believe in god, or don't understand my passion for music and all things creepy, you can still be my friend, but chances are, I don't want to wake up next to you more than once or twice. Perhaps that will change one day.
Normally, I wouldn't go into such details for all to see, but I need advice. I'd like to look her up in six months, and see where it goes. Not having her phone number anymore, the only way I could do this would be to show up on her door with flowers and a big smile. As good-intentioned as this would be, I know that many women wouldn't take it as such, and I don't want to be seen as a stalker nut job. I also acknowledge the possibility of being shot down, which, after six months of patience, would hurt like a motherfucker.
Logically, I'm very much against this idea, but matters of the heart are hardly logical, and I have a hard time letting go of the coolest thing I've found. Any and all words of advice would be greatly appreciated, SGers.
Cheers.
Her name is Desiree. I'd seen her in the hell that is my place of employment a few times, and as she was the prettiest woman I'd ever seen, no shit, I couldn't get her out of my head. When I saw her again, I told her this, asked her out, and much to my surprise, she said yes! She had just gotten out of a three year relationship, so we planned to take as slow as was necessary, which I was happy to do, and which worked well for a total of one long phone conversation and three dates.
Over the course of those three dates and one telephone conversation, I realized that I had more in common with this beautiful woman than anyone I'd ever met. We both had similar eclectic record collections (anyone who has the second Public Image Ltd album, one of the greatest things you'll EVER hear, a few inches from the slime that is Motley Crue is my kinda gal), we both came from eerily similar families, we both had an affinity for all things horror and Halloween (she drives a hearse for fucks sake, decorated her pad in Halloween decor, but isn't as cliched as many in the goth scene), and we're both English majors, vegetarians, atheists.
The conversation and laughter flowed freely, and I felt utterly at ease with her. I could tell that she was still going through some hell over her last relationship, so I remained a gentleman, and reassured her that slow was cool with me. Indeed it was, as it was rather romantic for a cat like me.
After a while, she became reclusive, only communicating with me via text message, and even failed to respond when I asked her what time she wanted me to pick her up for a date we had the following evening. When I politely bowed out, saying that I knew when I wasn't wanted, she apologized saying that she was in a bad place. When I asked if there was a spot for me in her life at a later time, she quite understandably couldn't say.
I gave her her space, and a week later, I asked her if her reluctance to see me recently hadn't just been a very nice way of saying that she wasn't into me. I would have been fine with that answer, as it would have allowed me to get on with my life. Instead, she said that she had already answered that question (she hadn't), and as such that meant that she and I were emotionally incompatible! I fought it for a bit, saying that she had misunderstood my text message (her only way of communicating), but I gave up quickly, left her a very polite text message, and deleted her number, expecting to be over the whole thing in a week or so.
Since then, I've had a terribly hard time getting over the fact that the woman with whom I had more in common and to whom I was more attracted than anyone I've ever met in my 35 years has quickly come and gone. For a lot of people, having a lot in common with a mate isn't as important as a lot of other things, but not for me. If you eat meat, believe in god, or don't understand my passion for music and all things creepy, you can still be my friend, but chances are, I don't want to wake up next to you more than once or twice. Perhaps that will change one day.
Normally, I wouldn't go into such details for all to see, but I need advice. I'd like to look her up in six months, and see where it goes. Not having her phone number anymore, the only way I could do this would be to show up on her door with flowers and a big smile. As good-intentioned as this would be, I know that many women wouldn't take it as such, and I don't want to be seen as a stalker nut job. I also acknowledge the possibility of being shot down, which, after six months of patience, would hurt like a motherfucker.
Logically, I'm very much against this idea, but matters of the heart are hardly logical, and I have a hard time letting go of the coolest thing I've found. Any and all words of advice would be greatly appreciated, SGers.
Cheers.