sickgirl78

I feel like change is coming, nothing specific...just change.
It's an overwhelming feeling and I feel sick because of it.

BTW, the wedding...eh. I'm not sure who those people are, but I'm pretty sure they aren't my real family.

CRAP! I had a pic ready and it won't show up! Anyway, just letting everyone know... it's No Pants Day!!!

So....we are back on. Starting fresh. As fresh as you can after fours years I guess. I'm happy, and a little scared too, but mostly happy. Thanks to everyone who gave a kind word over the past month or so. I'll keep you updated( or I'll try to, I'm really bad at it ).

Anyway, I'd talk about other things, but not much else is...
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so, today would've been four years. I was doing ok all day until now. Night time is the hardest time. I feel most alone after dark. Even when I go out, I'm still coming home to an empty house and laying in an empty bed. Tomorrow makes a month since he left and it feels like a lifetime. I keep having horrible dreams about it...
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Late last night I was looking through pictures
Flooded with memories I lied on the floor
And spread them around me like friends at a party
There faces remind me of all that I've known
Still I can't forget all the hush.
all the fiction and lies and the tears and the laughs
take a walk through the past you and I hand in hand...
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life. it seems like such a chore now.

I feel like a fool.
I had a terrible moment of weakness.
I just miss my best friend.
I think I made it weird.
I hope he doesn't hold it against me.
I'm embarassed.
I almost said I love you. It made me laugh, but now it just makes me sad.
I feel like a fool.

who knew heartbreak was so physically painful. I feel like I am dying. I'm not sure how this will all turn out, but I feel like I can't handle any of it. uncomfortably numb, yet sensitive to everything. the mere thought of food sickens me, I'm so tired, yet can't stay asleep. And this anxiety is the worse it's been in years, everything is shakey...
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thanks guys for being so concerned! I was having a very bad day, obviously. Everything is ok, it was just car trouble which is always frustrating and costly, you know? I actually got stranded twice in one day by two different cars, and got ripped apart by my father verbally, spent lots of money on car parts, and to top it off, ripped a hole...
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2007 sucks already.