So one of the guys at work was trying to give me some advice about talking to women. He said that the key is to not give a fuck, to just shoot your shot when talking to them, and no matter what not care about the result. And that's something I am just not wired to do.
When it comes to not caring what random people think of me, that's easy. If someone came up to me (or commented on one of my blogs, or my IG posts), and said they didn't like my writing, that's not a problem to brush off my shoulders. I'm not saying I would be rude or mean, or that it wouldn't sting just a tiny bit; after all, I'm only human. But not dwelling on it or letting it affect me long-term, no problem.
But when it comes to not caring what somebody thinks, especially if I like them? That's not something I am capable of doing. I've always had a big heart, and when it comes to caring about someone, it's either all or nothing. I can't care about somebody half-assed. So if I'm talking to someone who I have a crush on, I don't necessarily pull a Ted Mosby on them; but, being nonchalant and pretending I could care less whether they're into me or not? Not gonna happen.
What that means is that when I like someone, I'm stuck. I don't know how to not care about their response, and because of that I know I can give off an intense vibe when I'm talking to them in person, which can tend to unsettle or intimidate others. So I'm trapped in this form of hell or limbo. I know when you get older you tend to make peace with your ways (unless they're destructive); but this, this I don't know how to make peace with :(