Well here is my first blog on SG. I have'nt blogged in quite some time - about a couple of years ago on myspace.
I guess I should consider what I am interested in typing up...hmmm... *thinks*
What am I doing today? I just finished watching Surrogates which I quite enjoyed. I should really be going to the gym.. I've put so much effort in to my fitness and workouts since last summer but lately it seems it's all I do. I feel like I'm losing interest in what was once a childhood dream of mine. I have the opportunity to prove I can get off my lazy ass and be somebody but my self pity and low self-esteem hold me back.
The other day I realised a main cause of the self esteem issues I have suffered (for such a long time) was. I got thinking back to the day I was out shopping my now ex girlfriend and I passed a guy I went to school with for 6 years. I blanked him as he attempted to start up a conversation with me. This was when I realised the bullies I had put up with since I was child ( of about 6 years old) were the cause of my issues.
The first bully I put up with would steal my bike and cycle off on it. He continued to bully me over the years until my dad got a hold of him. He has yet to make any negative comment towards me, infact he's been nice to me over the past few years,
I could go on describing the cruel acts done to me by bullies from about the age of 6-17, the broken home I grew up in or even how it felt like my parents were dumping their problems on me making me feel like the world is on my shoulders (SIDE NOTE: I really know what Eminem is talking about in that song).
You know....I can't help but think about all the people who took their lives due to the actions of a bully and how I could have been one. Had I not discovered the lyrics on Jonathan Davis then who knows how life would have panned out for me.One thing that I just love to think about is how I already have a better life than these people who put me down over the years and how things have began to look up for me .
So if anybody out there is reading this and they think I'm side tracking, this is actually my introduction to me, myself and I.
Anyway thanks for reading. I'll post some more thoughts soon.
Shane.
I guess I should consider what I am interested in typing up...hmmm... *thinks*
What am I doing today? I just finished watching Surrogates which I quite enjoyed. I should really be going to the gym.. I've put so much effort in to my fitness and workouts since last summer but lately it seems it's all I do. I feel like I'm losing interest in what was once a childhood dream of mine. I have the opportunity to prove I can get off my lazy ass and be somebody but my self pity and low self-esteem hold me back.
The other day I realised a main cause of the self esteem issues I have suffered (for such a long time) was. I got thinking back to the day I was out shopping my now ex girlfriend and I passed a guy I went to school with for 6 years. I blanked him as he attempted to start up a conversation with me. This was when I realised the bullies I had put up with since I was child ( of about 6 years old) were the cause of my issues.
The first bully I put up with would steal my bike and cycle off on it. He continued to bully me over the years until my dad got a hold of him. He has yet to make any negative comment towards me, infact he's been nice to me over the past few years,
I could go on describing the cruel acts done to me by bullies from about the age of 6-17, the broken home I grew up in or even how it felt like my parents were dumping their problems on me making me feel like the world is on my shoulders (SIDE NOTE: I really know what Eminem is talking about in that song).
You know....I can't help but think about all the people who took their lives due to the actions of a bully and how I could have been one. Had I not discovered the lyrics on Jonathan Davis then who knows how life would have panned out for me.One thing that I just love to think about is how I already have a better life than these people who put me down over the years and how things have began to look up for me .
So if anybody out there is reading this and they think I'm side tracking, this is actually my introduction to me, myself and I.
Anyway thanks for reading. I'll post some more thoughts soon.
Shane.