Sex is one of my favorite things, let me tell you why.
For me, it is an act of presence: being there with another, engaged in their existence, and manipulating their feelings. When I was younger, I idolized the feminine form while subconsciously detesting the feminine spirit. I'm not going to get into what made me that way, but I've always gotten along better with women because of my family and my five older sisters.
It made me a little queer amongst my friends.
All the girls loved me growing up, and from most accounts, they still do. What I'm learning now is being a man does not mean having to control or force someone to accept my version of events, life, or anything else. Teaching and guiding people is more effective than simply stating my perspective.
What I've observed (what American culture and society has done to us) is create an environment of "Fuck you, pay me."
Today, I was approached by a beautiful young girl who's going through some financial hardship. I've been approached by sex workers before, and I always say "no" because I don't reduce women to objects. She told me that she needed money, and I sent her some without asking for anything in exchange, like giving money to a beggar. I was in a mood mood, so I didn't think anything of it. I didn't want anything except to help and maybe have someone to talk to.
She told me afterwards, "I though you were going to send like $200." She had the heart to spit on charity. Either she misinterpreted my intentions, or she willfully ignored me when I said I didn't want anything from her. She then proceeded to ignore me when I told her I was not going to pay her for her company. I was insulted and furious.
I mean, we've all been poor. Me, especially. I was filled with regret because I actually care, and caring wasn't enough.