quilty

i did call you! you were probably down here looking at naked girls! call me back!

I've written wry exhaustion on a sheet of paper and hung it prominently on the wall.

Yes, photo from last summer, but it is incomplete without feeling the exquisite wind.

Hope you can rest.

Here's wishing you a nice Christmas and a happy and safe new year.

So I'm sitting in the airport waiting for my delayed flight to board with a book of Carver short stories. I just finished Neighbors. All I can say is that if there was any hope of my letting someone watch my house while I was gone, it was snuffed out by this story.

It's fiction, but people do this sort of stuff all the time. The forbidden thrill of being granted dominion over another's domicile is just too much for many to control.

Back in college, both my girlfriend and I were going out of town, so she asked the neighbor across the hall to "feed Kitty". We returned a day early without giving notice and her bedroom looked like a tornado had hit her panty drawer. They were literally strewn all over the room, hanging from the lampshade, etc. I envisioned a kid running into a leafpile, except these leaves were women's underwear. If there was any good to be seen it was that he stuck to the clean skivvies, and didn't raid the hamper so far as we could tell. Perhaps he was saving the "best for last" and didn't get that opportunity.

Happy holidays BTW.

DigiCam bay-bee.

You are too kind Quilty, really.

Oh yes, I saw the film. Nearly a year ago, at the Jean Cocteau here in Santa Fe as soon as it came out. The actual film was only average in my opinion. Perhaps this was because none of the information presented was new to me, I'm not sure. Gwyneth Paltrow did do a good job acting however, and of course she looked really good as always (probably better than the real Sylvia did).

Very few know much of anything about Plath, so hopefully the film remedied that some which is good. I don't think viewers will fully appreciate how tragic her death was until they have read a good bit of her work though.

That overwhelming sense of tragedy is something that has never really left me since I discovered Plath years ago. Seeing the movie just re-animated it for me. I remember not sleeping well for a week afterwards. Reading her poems always uplifted my spirits, which seems counterintuitive to some. It's only because there is a strong personal connection there that many will not see; I can see elements of myself in her writing. This makes me feel not as alone, which in turn gives me strength. I only regret that I was not able to return the favor.

Now I am 30, the same age that Sylvia was when she took her own life. I feel my life is just beginning, and don't even feel qualified to look back on it yet. I sometimes think that if I just could have met her during this turbulent time in her life, things would have turned out differently. She felt utterly alone in the world, which is a harrowing place to be. I think she needed someone who she could relate to, who understood that personal darkness which defies all reason, explanation, and negotiation. The beginning often looks very similar to the end, but there was no-one there to show her this.

Whoa Quilty, you left that comment underneath an old journal entry, so I nearly missed it. Luckily I have the comment count of each entry memorized so I noticed the change.

Man, I hadn't realized Anne Sexton committed suicide too. Is unhappiness truly the hallmark of virtue? What is her best work in your mind, Live or Die?

Sometimes we only connect with a kindred spirit after it's too late, or we don't realize they are kindred until they are gone. This is why finding one in the midst of one's life is so precious, at least to me.

Yeah, it didn't turn out like I thought it would, or hoped it would. Although Santa Fe county was 71% Kerry, Dubya took New Mexico this time (he didn't in 2000).

Neither candidate was ideal in my mind, but I voted for Kerry for reasons explained in Tuesday's journal.

Well, at least it's only 4 years.

P.S. - my new profile pic isn't me, but I'm having fun seeing if anyone recognizea who it is, and I also think it's a funny-cool picture.

Nope. That is one thing that I don't do.

I've never read Carver, but it sounds sufficiently debacherous. I've gleaned so many new books/authors from you. Now all I have to do is find the time to start reading them.

That was a nice surprise to see your comment. Thanks very much. I met my friend and his wife in Beijing two nights ago, and although we never spoke about the accident, it was very emotional and significant. We all drank too much, for all the memories. Hope you are doing well.

[Edited on Oct 26, 2004 3:37AM]

i have nothing new, only the beginnings of things. but you shall read it all! my life = developing lots of photos and being wheeled death-defyingly around vapa in an office chair while tiffany scampers about naked and squealing. and wishing i had time to do things, like SLEEP.

and it was robin schiff, so, no. although she is divorced.

It's good to have you back.

Good luck on the AIDS walk.

Youre a super intelligent robot?

I fucking KNEW IT.


savannah owes me four bucks.

you know what else might help you bond as women, is welding yourselves to one another.

i just checked amazon.com's music bestsellers list and frou frou's details is #21! i haven't been keeping up with popular music so i was quite surprised, since the album is like 2 years old. so i'm wondering why the heck is it so popular? i didn't think she had a hit song recently. do you have any idea?

Hope your weekend was smashing!