Ok... angry blog time.
Giving fair warning that this might get messy, depressing, and maybe even start up some negative responses due to the fact that the subject is about love and infatuation.
These will be the generalizations through my eyes at this moment in my life, about one women in particular that will be trashed to an extent of no holding back, and one sadly pathetic friend of mine will also get roasted. This is when the "can't live with em, can't live without em" saying rings so depressingly true it turns my tongue into a merciless whip and makes me take on a far darker demeanor.
Due to the fact that my friend list on this sight is almost exclusively beautiful, strong, and comfortable women, I pray that those reading this keep your mind open, and realize that this is the rant of a young, somewhat lonely, jealous, enraged and perhaps depressed young man that has to let it out. Now that I have a blog, it only seems logical to use this as a medium to scream in outrage at the never ending nonsense that life can be.
I ask for forgiveness and understanding in advance, and accept complete retribution at the hands of your comments.
Ok here we go.
Firstly, I don't think I know the first thing about romantic love in the personal sense. I feel that on the grounds of relationship advice I am grossly under qualified. I think I have a completely reasonable appreciation for the female form, but the emotional connection is completely foreign to me. Not sure why, but I just don't feel this need for the romantic connection. Whether it is because the "one" just hasn't come along, or I'm actually an antisocial psychopath is unknown.
Apparently it frustrates my friends no end, when they see me alone they seem to think that I'm completely unhappy and they do their best to drag me to bars and pubs thinking that these are prime hunting grounds for the elusive girlfriend. Odd when you consider that none of them met their current girlfriends at bars. They also seem to believe that there are scores of women throwing themselves at my feet and I'm completely oblivious to the fact. It amuses me to no end when they try so hard to force something down my throat. Ok, thats my take, it may be a bit sad, but it's current. Until I have a reason to change, or meet someone that garners these seemingly elusive and intense emotions, I'll remain comfortably numb.
Ok, now onto the issue that confuses and enrages me. A few years ago me and my best friend met a girl. Beautiful, outgoing. artsy and with a wicked attitude. She had an extremely magnetic personality. My buddy automatically fell for her, and me being the emotionless automaton simply enjoyed her company. At the time I had a lot on my plate. I was the lead saxophone player in all three of the high school bands and played soccer regularly so I didn't get to hang out with either of them often, but it soon became apparent that he had less and less time to hang out with me.
It got to the point where he was spending huge sums of money (relatively, we were only in high school) on this girl and hanging out with her a great deal. Soon every time we did find the time tot hang out he'd unleash his frustrations of not getting any romantic response from her. Seeing this as an obvious bad sign, I tried to tell him that he was wasting his time. Sadly the time he spent with her increased to the point almost I never saw him. Skipping classes to hang out with her became increasingly consistent.
Then I saw him weeks later an absolute wreck. Apparently he was feeling even more betrayed and wanted my advice and support. Still nothing from her end. I told him it was time to let it go...
Unfortunately he didn't realize it until he caught her and his 25 year old brother in his bed together a week later...
That was the only time I ever saw him cry...
He never saw her again.....
Until last night.
We were at a show with a couple friends and she arrived.
She sat down and started to chat with us like nothing ever happened. He started to warm up instantly and pretty soon they were on the dance floor as if she never did anything wrong. This isn't the sad part, the sad part is his girlfriend he's been with for 4 months is in Haiti doing humanitarian work, and he's here dancing with the bitch that tore his heart out, spat on it, then threw it into the gutter.
It's a good thing she never greeted me... because it wouldn't have been pretty.
At the end of the night I found myself out in the rain, in silent contemplation. The walk home was delightfully rainy and cool, and the rain always helps to calm my nerves. It was the only part of the night that didn't make me wretch in disgust. Ok thats not fair, the band that was playing was great.
So here I am. I don't know who to pity or be disgusted with more, him or her. These the kinds of situations that make me glad that this shit is way over my head.
Anyway... that was my rant, didn't turn out as bad as I thought it would, maybe writing ones thoughts does help keep the mind healthy.
Time for a popsicle...
Giving fair warning that this might get messy, depressing, and maybe even start up some negative responses due to the fact that the subject is about love and infatuation.
These will be the generalizations through my eyes at this moment in my life, about one women in particular that will be trashed to an extent of no holding back, and one sadly pathetic friend of mine will also get roasted. This is when the "can't live with em, can't live without em" saying rings so depressingly true it turns my tongue into a merciless whip and makes me take on a far darker demeanor.
Due to the fact that my friend list on this sight is almost exclusively beautiful, strong, and comfortable women, I pray that those reading this keep your mind open, and realize that this is the rant of a young, somewhat lonely, jealous, enraged and perhaps depressed young man that has to let it out. Now that I have a blog, it only seems logical to use this as a medium to scream in outrage at the never ending nonsense that life can be.
I ask for forgiveness and understanding in advance, and accept complete retribution at the hands of your comments.
Ok here we go.
Firstly, I don't think I know the first thing about romantic love in the personal sense. I feel that on the grounds of relationship advice I am grossly under qualified. I think I have a completely reasonable appreciation for the female form, but the emotional connection is completely foreign to me. Not sure why, but I just don't feel this need for the romantic connection. Whether it is because the "one" just hasn't come along, or I'm actually an antisocial psychopath is unknown.
Apparently it frustrates my friends no end, when they see me alone they seem to think that I'm completely unhappy and they do their best to drag me to bars and pubs thinking that these are prime hunting grounds for the elusive girlfriend. Odd when you consider that none of them met their current girlfriends at bars. They also seem to believe that there are scores of women throwing themselves at my feet and I'm completely oblivious to the fact. It amuses me to no end when they try so hard to force something down my throat. Ok, thats my take, it may be a bit sad, but it's current. Until I have a reason to change, or meet someone that garners these seemingly elusive and intense emotions, I'll remain comfortably numb.
Ok, now onto the issue that confuses and enrages me. A few years ago me and my best friend met a girl. Beautiful, outgoing. artsy and with a wicked attitude. She had an extremely magnetic personality. My buddy automatically fell for her, and me being the emotionless automaton simply enjoyed her company. At the time I had a lot on my plate. I was the lead saxophone player in all three of the high school bands and played soccer regularly so I didn't get to hang out with either of them often, but it soon became apparent that he had less and less time to hang out with me.
It got to the point where he was spending huge sums of money (relatively, we were only in high school) on this girl and hanging out with her a great deal. Soon every time we did find the time tot hang out he'd unleash his frustrations of not getting any romantic response from her. Seeing this as an obvious bad sign, I tried to tell him that he was wasting his time. Sadly the time he spent with her increased to the point almost I never saw him. Skipping classes to hang out with her became increasingly consistent.
Then I saw him weeks later an absolute wreck. Apparently he was feeling even more betrayed and wanted my advice and support. Still nothing from her end. I told him it was time to let it go...
Unfortunately he didn't realize it until he caught her and his 25 year old brother in his bed together a week later...
That was the only time I ever saw him cry...
He never saw her again.....
Until last night.
We were at a show with a couple friends and she arrived.
She sat down and started to chat with us like nothing ever happened. He started to warm up instantly and pretty soon they were on the dance floor as if she never did anything wrong. This isn't the sad part, the sad part is his girlfriend he's been with for 4 months is in Haiti doing humanitarian work, and he's here dancing with the bitch that tore his heart out, spat on it, then threw it into the gutter.
It's a good thing she never greeted me... because it wouldn't have been pretty.
At the end of the night I found myself out in the rain, in silent contemplation. The walk home was delightfully rainy and cool, and the rain always helps to calm my nerves. It was the only part of the night that didn't make me wretch in disgust. Ok thats not fair, the band that was playing was great.
So here I am. I don't know who to pity or be disgusted with more, him or her. These the kinds of situations that make me glad that this shit is way over my head.
Anyway... that was my rant, didn't turn out as bad as I thought it would, maybe writing ones thoughts does help keep the mind healthy.
Time for a popsicle...
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
raia:
thanks for your sweet comment!
mika:
yea i come from a very strict catholic family but at leats they let me live my life.. dont get involved unless needed and dont push their beliefs on others for sure