I graduated! YAY! lol
So I just graduated with my AA in Liberal Arts and Science and it was very rewarding! It took me so long to accomplish this and I finally did it! Walking down the aisle and all the professors cheered for us and congratulated us made me tear up
Later that night my pookey threw me a party where we had family over. I wanted to make it special and just have family over since they were the ones that really supported me through this madness.
Lately I have been having more problems with my sister. It got to the point to where I told her to move out. My mom didn't like the idea but I couldn't live like that anymore. I was taking 5 classes and working at the same time. I would always be tired and not have time for anything and I would come home at 10pm and she would not be home. She would put her kids to sleep at 7pm and take off. She would leave our 15 year old brother in charge or ask my mom.
My mom has been suffering of depression and anxiety lately because of all the stress we have been having and instead of my sister wanting to help my mom by allowing her to relax, she would leave and sometimes her kids would still be awake and bother my mom. That really pissed me off. On top of that, we would call her and she would have her phone turned off. Sometimes she wouldn't even come home until 6am. She would sleep all day and talk on the phone. She didn't work or go to school and on top of that still hasn't finished her community service which is due any day now. My mom has been having difficulty sleeping due to her anxiety so any night she was able to sleep for at least 6 hours straight was glorious for her but apparently she couldn't because she had to open the door for my sister.
Why don't we give her a key? Because she is not responsible and we don't trust her. That will only give her more freedom.
So the night before graduation she got a babysitter and her husband to babysit her kids while she accepted to work with an uncle of ours for a few hours. Then she came home and all I told her was that it was about time she arrived because her kids were giving the sitters a hard time. I was not rude or spoke in a wrong tone it was more like a comment.
She goes into her room and closes the door. She has been telling me for a few days that she doesn't feel well mentally and emotionally and I told her because she needs responsibility like school or a job to keep her busy. But then I started to reflect and remembered what happened last year and that same pattern was happening again.
She would leave and turn off her phone, she would always be in a bad mood, she would leave everyday and eventually leave for days. So then i thought, she could either be doing drugs or talking to the baby daddy again.
I then hear her oldest daughter cry and i knew that was not a good sign. I go into the room and i asked her why she was crying and she said that because the baby sitters where going to spend the night. Then her mom walks out of the restroom and says, "what do you want? There are adults here so you don't have to worry" then i told her "this is my house and I can come in and ask what is the matter" so i walked out and called my mom.
I then see her leave with a backpack and one of the babysitters. I automatically thought that she was going to leave and not come back because who leaves with a backpack? She didn't even tell me anything. So my bf got mad and went looking for her. We never see taxis around here and all of a sudden there was one parked across the street.
The babysitter's husband was in the room with the kids! I then go in and ask where his wife was and he didn't know.
Infuriated i text my sister telling her that i'm throwing her stuff out and will take her kids to social services the next day. My mom calls me and asks why i'm threatening my sister? I then explain everything to her and she told me that they went to walmart. Why couldn't my sis just tell me that? Why did she have to seem suspicious? Then they walk in with bags and go to her room.
The husband got mad and wanted to leave. So they left. My sister got mad and stayed in her room.
I began to feel bad for texting her what i text but I got to the point where I had enough! I can't trust her and without trust I can't live comfortably. So i went to the restroom just to walk by and see what was going on and she was crying. So I sat down to talk to her.
I asked why she was crying and began to give her advice. We were talking in the dark and my phone rings. It was my mom that wanted to know where my sister was at and I said, "here I'm talking to her" she then said she was worried because she got a weird text from her. I automatically switch on the lights and find bottles of pills in front of her. I hang up and asked my sis to throw up and she goes, "why? i didn't do anything" I said, "I know but i would feel more at ease if you would just throw up" but she refused.
Her bf came and i asked him to make her throw up. We had to pin her down and shove our fingers down her throat and she would bite us and say "leave me alone! Its my choice! I don't want to live!" *Note: her two oldest daughters were awake and witnessing everything. Ages 8 and 7.
I had my brother take them out of the room but they had already witnessed everything. Studying medicine I learned that time in never on your side, so i said, "we're wasting time lets take her to the ER" so we did.
She was passing out and shivering. She admit her in and asked us all sorts of questions. I gave them the bottles that she had and a doctor came out and talked to me. He said she would be fine, she just took a bunch of anti-coagulants and vicodin so she just got a real good high and even if she were to take the whole bottle she still would be fine. However, she would need to stay till 4am (we checked in at 10pm and it was now 1am).
I was pissed. How could she do this? How could she not care how she traumatized her kids? How could she not care that our mom is having nervous breakdowns and really doesn't need this right now? How could she not care that I was graduating the next day?!
I was tired, sad and upset. Feeling guilty because I might have caused this.
It was 2 am and the doc said she will have to stay till 8 because she needed to get evaluated by a psychiatrist and I said, "yes please that's our priority right now"
Her bf switched with me because I was tired and had to go home and get my rest for the next day. I wanted to stay for support but i couldn't throw away something i worked so long and so hard for.
The next morning, only with 3 hours of sleep, woke up to get the kids' clothes and shoes together and began to get ready myself.
Found out that my sis would stay longer and won't be released until being evaluated.
I arrived to graduation and cried because i was emotionally confused. I was proud and I struggled so much with difficult people along the way. My only family members where my mom, my bro, kids, pookey and his fam. everyone else in my fam didn't show up. My dad wasn't there, nor my sis, nor my grandpa.
When the professors cheers for us as we walked by them they shouted, "you did it!" "Congrats!" "your efforts paid off!" and they meant so much to me i cried. They had no idea how hard this really was for me.
The party was horrible. I was tired, and yet was babysitting. Kids broke a huge pot and made a mess, ppl were asking them for their mom and they would say, "oh, she's in the hospital, she took a lot of pills because she wanted to kill herself" like if it was completely normal to them.
I wanted to enjoy it but it didn't feel right after what happened. So we went home.
She's home now, will begin medication and therapy soon. The kids, theyr doing good just got to get that idea of suicide off their minds. My mom is probably more nervous than before. I have a better job I left radioshack for petsmart and couldn't be happier Unemployment is still being a pain tho :/ I was afraid of not passing math but i passed with a B! I passed sociology with a B! 2 medical assisting classes one A the other B and waiting for 2 other classes to post grades.
Did i mention that I have only been with petsmart for a month and they want to promote me to pet trainer? It is a very wanted, competitive and limited position and they want to give it to me! My managers think that i'm such a great employee with so much potential that they want to give it to me! I just feel bad for the people who have been working there for a long time and were waiting for the position to open up to apply for it :/
Only time will tell
Have a good day everyone! Enjoy life to the fullest!
XOXO
Peaches
So I just graduated with my AA in Liberal Arts and Science and it was very rewarding! It took me so long to accomplish this and I finally did it! Walking down the aisle and all the professors cheered for us and congratulated us made me tear up
Later that night my pookey threw me a party where we had family over. I wanted to make it special and just have family over since they were the ones that really supported me through this madness.
Lately I have been having more problems with my sister. It got to the point to where I told her to move out. My mom didn't like the idea but I couldn't live like that anymore. I was taking 5 classes and working at the same time. I would always be tired and not have time for anything and I would come home at 10pm and she would not be home. She would put her kids to sleep at 7pm and take off. She would leave our 15 year old brother in charge or ask my mom.
My mom has been suffering of depression and anxiety lately because of all the stress we have been having and instead of my sister wanting to help my mom by allowing her to relax, she would leave and sometimes her kids would still be awake and bother my mom. That really pissed me off. On top of that, we would call her and she would have her phone turned off. Sometimes she wouldn't even come home until 6am. She would sleep all day and talk on the phone. She didn't work or go to school and on top of that still hasn't finished her community service which is due any day now. My mom has been having difficulty sleeping due to her anxiety so any night she was able to sleep for at least 6 hours straight was glorious for her but apparently she couldn't because she had to open the door for my sister.
Why don't we give her a key? Because she is not responsible and we don't trust her. That will only give her more freedom.
So the night before graduation she got a babysitter and her husband to babysit her kids while she accepted to work with an uncle of ours for a few hours. Then she came home and all I told her was that it was about time she arrived because her kids were giving the sitters a hard time. I was not rude or spoke in a wrong tone it was more like a comment.
She goes into her room and closes the door. She has been telling me for a few days that she doesn't feel well mentally and emotionally and I told her because she needs responsibility like school or a job to keep her busy. But then I started to reflect and remembered what happened last year and that same pattern was happening again.
She would leave and turn off her phone, she would always be in a bad mood, she would leave everyday and eventually leave for days. So then i thought, she could either be doing drugs or talking to the baby daddy again.
I then hear her oldest daughter cry and i knew that was not a good sign. I go into the room and i asked her why she was crying and she said that because the baby sitters where going to spend the night. Then her mom walks out of the restroom and says, "what do you want? There are adults here so you don't have to worry" then i told her "this is my house and I can come in and ask what is the matter" so i walked out and called my mom.
I then see her leave with a backpack and one of the babysitters. I automatically thought that she was going to leave and not come back because who leaves with a backpack? She didn't even tell me anything. So my bf got mad and went looking for her. We never see taxis around here and all of a sudden there was one parked across the street.
The babysitter's husband was in the room with the kids! I then go in and ask where his wife was and he didn't know.
Infuriated i text my sister telling her that i'm throwing her stuff out and will take her kids to social services the next day. My mom calls me and asks why i'm threatening my sister? I then explain everything to her and she told me that they went to walmart. Why couldn't my sis just tell me that? Why did she have to seem suspicious? Then they walk in with bags and go to her room.
The husband got mad and wanted to leave. So they left. My sister got mad and stayed in her room.
I began to feel bad for texting her what i text but I got to the point where I had enough! I can't trust her and without trust I can't live comfortably. So i went to the restroom just to walk by and see what was going on and she was crying. So I sat down to talk to her.
I asked why she was crying and began to give her advice. We were talking in the dark and my phone rings. It was my mom that wanted to know where my sister was at and I said, "here I'm talking to her" she then said she was worried because she got a weird text from her. I automatically switch on the lights and find bottles of pills in front of her. I hang up and asked my sis to throw up and she goes, "why? i didn't do anything" I said, "I know but i would feel more at ease if you would just throw up" but she refused.
Her bf came and i asked him to make her throw up. We had to pin her down and shove our fingers down her throat and she would bite us and say "leave me alone! Its my choice! I don't want to live!" *Note: her two oldest daughters were awake and witnessing everything. Ages 8 and 7.
I had my brother take them out of the room but they had already witnessed everything. Studying medicine I learned that time in never on your side, so i said, "we're wasting time lets take her to the ER" so we did.
She was passing out and shivering. She admit her in and asked us all sorts of questions. I gave them the bottles that she had and a doctor came out and talked to me. He said she would be fine, she just took a bunch of anti-coagulants and vicodin so she just got a real good high and even if she were to take the whole bottle she still would be fine. However, she would need to stay till 4am (we checked in at 10pm and it was now 1am).
I was pissed. How could she do this? How could she not care how she traumatized her kids? How could she not care that our mom is having nervous breakdowns and really doesn't need this right now? How could she not care that I was graduating the next day?!
I was tired, sad and upset. Feeling guilty because I might have caused this.
It was 2 am and the doc said she will have to stay till 8 because she needed to get evaluated by a psychiatrist and I said, "yes please that's our priority right now"
Her bf switched with me because I was tired and had to go home and get my rest for the next day. I wanted to stay for support but i couldn't throw away something i worked so long and so hard for.
The next morning, only with 3 hours of sleep, woke up to get the kids' clothes and shoes together and began to get ready myself.
Found out that my sis would stay longer and won't be released until being evaluated.
I arrived to graduation and cried because i was emotionally confused. I was proud and I struggled so much with difficult people along the way. My only family members where my mom, my bro, kids, pookey and his fam. everyone else in my fam didn't show up. My dad wasn't there, nor my sis, nor my grandpa.
When the professors cheers for us as we walked by them they shouted, "you did it!" "Congrats!" "your efforts paid off!" and they meant so much to me i cried. They had no idea how hard this really was for me.
The party was horrible. I was tired, and yet was babysitting. Kids broke a huge pot and made a mess, ppl were asking them for their mom and they would say, "oh, she's in the hospital, she took a lot of pills because she wanted to kill herself" like if it was completely normal to them.
I wanted to enjoy it but it didn't feel right after what happened. So we went home.
She's home now, will begin medication and therapy soon. The kids, theyr doing good just got to get that idea of suicide off their minds. My mom is probably more nervous than before. I have a better job I left radioshack for petsmart and couldn't be happier Unemployment is still being a pain tho :/ I was afraid of not passing math but i passed with a B! I passed sociology with a B! 2 medical assisting classes one A the other B and waiting for 2 other classes to post grades.
Did i mention that I have only been with petsmart for a month and they want to promote me to pet trainer? It is a very wanted, competitive and limited position and they want to give it to me! My managers think that i'm such a great employee with so much potential that they want to give it to me! I just feel bad for the people who have been working there for a long time and were waiting for the position to open up to apply for it :/
Only time will tell
Have a good day everyone! Enjoy life to the fullest!
XOXO
Peaches
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I Just Stopped by to Wish You a Happy Birthday, Darling.
Getting Old as I am is No Fun.
Remembering Things is Getting Hard.
At Least I Remembered before It was Over With.
Hope you have a Great Day.
And May ALL your Wishes Come True.
And this Special Day Brings You Happiness and Joy.