I saw the circus last night. Wild performers, on wires and lines, almost naked and crazy savage. I cheered and I laughed, and then... I cried. I suddenly knew what it was that I had wanted to do with my life. I want to be there on the stage, under the big top. I wanted to ride in vans and buses and laugh and love and fuck. All while playing the clown. Too late, this life, too late with my right arm going numb from a nerve injury, and my teeth aching from years of neglect and the fat on my belly, a sloppy chain. Sigh. I'm going to go see the circus again