Last time I was following someone.. On a website.. i.e. reading their blog and suddenly came upon a video of theirs all interesting kind of imploded.
But that was several weeks ago. Every since then I've been pondering it on and off.. how can someone's blog and pictures not be anywhere near who they are? I mean literally seeing months or years worth of someone's outpourings and you have not a shred of a clue who that person is. Are they just an expertly crafted lie?
Then you get that one candid video and it all changes.. or you meet them in person, cringe 'like a date', or whatever the case against that lie you've built up yourself or swallowed completely happens to be. I'm of the resolute belief that you shouldn't juts meet someone out of the blue.. and from the last two experiences no matter how much time you spend reading about someone you just can't know them. There's so much left undiscovered.
So... how can it be that the one video caused my entire opinion of her to implode (not anyone on SG, although.....................).. someone on Tumblr. While seeing KVLT in a video where she speaks just increases her awesomeness by 1000%?
I mean heck everything about her personality was already there.. it is just awesome to hear her speak and remove any remaining misconceptions. Most shockingly.. perhaps because I'm just old.. both of them seem so young. Or so much younger than the image I held of them in my head until then.
I had seen it the other way where I had a high opinion of someone, which is just the way I perceive most people until given a reason not to.. but maybe there were signs. Maybe finally having those final strokes brushed onto the canvas of who that person is providing depth and animation to the caricature I'd conceived and fostered for probably too long that it had a life of its own. What her personality is like.. I do like but.. it had the same 1000% reinforcement but just none of it was really positive.
Happy to know that that first reaction wasn't the norm then. But if it means being even more critical or having to listen to my gut more and seeing people for who they are not what I want them to be.. where's the fun in that? Can't go back and repaint the ideal version of that person I thought I was following prior to the video that was posted.. but same for anyone I've met. There's always this micro reckoning that happens which forces a reconciliation with the image of a person and who they turn out to be. Which one to listen to.. the heart, the brain, the gut or that other thing.
Is it fair to recoil and just unfriend, unfollow, when gut, heart, brain, and that other thing run to the hills. I mean it isn't like I haven't been dealing with that on a daily basis in the morning just before and after a shower... *loud snapping noise of self deprecation*