I perfectly remember that moment when I suddenly woke up with a cold sweat, I was sure it was the excess of that night, we had a very good time after I had been feeling better and we ended it with a passionate night of sex and love. My husband turned to me and held me tight as a token of love. I tried to go back in my dreams but a shiver ran down my spine and I realized I was ill. Danny put his hand in my forehead and his expression turned into a worried sight.
I couldnt tell exactly what happened after that, I just remember flashes of light while Danny drove to the hospital, the sky was clear and I tried to make the Orion constellation out but slight clouds in my eyes made it impossible.
Nothing was clear for me, I just couldnt figure out how I got to that situation, werent we having one of those incredible nights together?
One sight and I was in the emergency room. Another sight and I was trying to answer the questions the doctor was asking me. My mind was not working properly; I felt like floating out of my body I tried to relate this sensation with some known to me. It was like if I had smoked a joint with the difference that it wasnt my will, I was not enjoying it. Please! Stop! But none word came out of my mouth.
My mind was working at full. How long since we went to that pub we always go? Right that day there was a classic rock band playing, I perfectly remember the backgrounds melody while we talked with our friends and we told them about our project of having a school, but what happened after that? Oh I believe that was the night when the snow made her apparition and I felt a strong impulse of lying back on the ground to play with that cold and white cotton. I saw him smiling at me and I asked him to join me. He was not really sure but after looking around, he played with me. It was a beautiful night. We got our house and took a hot shower to warn our bodies. We kissed each other and we finally did it. With the water falling in my face I could feel his tongue covering every corner of my shape, I observed my body and I noticed that I had lost weight. That is good I thought, I lately had been careless with my image and I never felt comfortable with my overweight when he touched me. How many pounds have I lost? There might be a lot because Danny had mentioned it too
We were together till dawn and I fall asleep surrounded by him. He is that kind of man very difficult to find, he is as imperfect as me and we laugh about it, we love each other imperfectly as our whole lives are.
The next day I woke up with an annoying pain and itch in the throat, it was predictable though; the change of temperature, and all that jazz.
I spent three days in bed feeling really bad with fever and recurring shiver, nausea and muscle pain, my body really hurt.
We took advantage of my days without working to plan our project of the school. Danny asked for some days off in his job to take care of me therefore we had enough time.
Everything was going right with our business; the idea was about an artistic school focused on humanistic abilities as different languages, music, etc. I was who came up with the proposition because in our city there is a lack of alternatives in the educational field and I recall that since I was in university I wanted to have my own school. When I met Danny I thought that he would be the perfect business partner due to his studies and knowledge I have always admired him because of his wide understanding in varied topics and it always has been very interesting to talk to him besides that he is an easy going person who fit perfectly in every group I introduced him.
That day after having dinner I felt better so I decided to go downstairs and to watch a movie as usual. I was feeling very good so what on the earth happened??!!
I opened my eyes and I saw him holding my hand, he knitted his brow and asked me if I was awake. I didnt get his question but I answered with a yes. He smiled and looked at me with his penetrating gaze I so much love.
- What happened? Why am I here? I cant remember anything aside the movie we were watching a few hours ago.
His smile immediately disappeared and turned into a sorrowful sight of pain. I felt scared. With that expression I could realize that I wasnt good.
- Sweetheart, you were really bad, I dont know how to tell you this but it is serious.
- Yeah, Im dying right?
I laughed.
One of the characteristics he liked about my personality was my sense of humor but sometimes he got really upset because I dont take things seriously as I should
But when I pronounced those words, he started to cry. I froze, I was shocked, he barely cried! I was starting to believe that I was in danger.
- How long have I been here?
He answered with a dry two weeks.
I swiftly put the pieces together and I finally found out the problem; the endless cough, the musculature pain as if I had a cold, the persistent fever, the weight loss, those weird marks and finally and the most important, my irrational fear of the famous medical examination.
I didnt want to hear it and Danny knew that part of me. I never liked to hear the truth when it was painful so, he left me with my thoughts. I went off through my entire life exactly as in the movies, I felt sorry for my family and for the guilt they will feel with my life ending, the hug and the apologize they never gave me because of their inability in letting their prejudices on aside. I thought in our so wished child we never could have and I froze again with the new thought that came to my mind, and terrified by it, I asked him:
- Are you infected too?
- Yes.
We looked each other and we desperately cried. We werent prepared for this. Now that Im in this situation, I cant comprehend if someone is prepared to confront the death.
He said to me all I was for him, and the pain started again. I managed to tell him how much he meant to me, how much I appreciated to have met him, and that I was sorry for leaving him alone.
I felt tired, he kissed me and I closed my eyes
and the ominous beast disappeared in a flash of light.
I couldnt tell exactly what happened after that, I just remember flashes of light while Danny drove to the hospital, the sky was clear and I tried to make the Orion constellation out but slight clouds in my eyes made it impossible.
Nothing was clear for me, I just couldnt figure out how I got to that situation, werent we having one of those incredible nights together?
One sight and I was in the emergency room. Another sight and I was trying to answer the questions the doctor was asking me. My mind was not working properly; I felt like floating out of my body I tried to relate this sensation with some known to me. It was like if I had smoked a joint with the difference that it wasnt my will, I was not enjoying it. Please! Stop! But none word came out of my mouth.
My mind was working at full. How long since we went to that pub we always go? Right that day there was a classic rock band playing, I perfectly remember the backgrounds melody while we talked with our friends and we told them about our project of having a school, but what happened after that? Oh I believe that was the night when the snow made her apparition and I felt a strong impulse of lying back on the ground to play with that cold and white cotton. I saw him smiling at me and I asked him to join me. He was not really sure but after looking around, he played with me. It was a beautiful night. We got our house and took a hot shower to warn our bodies. We kissed each other and we finally did it. With the water falling in my face I could feel his tongue covering every corner of my shape, I observed my body and I noticed that I had lost weight. That is good I thought, I lately had been careless with my image and I never felt comfortable with my overweight when he touched me. How many pounds have I lost? There might be a lot because Danny had mentioned it too
We were together till dawn and I fall asleep surrounded by him. He is that kind of man very difficult to find, he is as imperfect as me and we laugh about it, we love each other imperfectly as our whole lives are.
The next day I woke up with an annoying pain and itch in the throat, it was predictable though; the change of temperature, and all that jazz.
I spent three days in bed feeling really bad with fever and recurring shiver, nausea and muscle pain, my body really hurt.
We took advantage of my days without working to plan our project of the school. Danny asked for some days off in his job to take care of me therefore we had enough time.
Everything was going right with our business; the idea was about an artistic school focused on humanistic abilities as different languages, music, etc. I was who came up with the proposition because in our city there is a lack of alternatives in the educational field and I recall that since I was in university I wanted to have my own school. When I met Danny I thought that he would be the perfect business partner due to his studies and knowledge I have always admired him because of his wide understanding in varied topics and it always has been very interesting to talk to him besides that he is an easy going person who fit perfectly in every group I introduced him.
That day after having dinner I felt better so I decided to go downstairs and to watch a movie as usual. I was feeling very good so what on the earth happened??!!
I opened my eyes and I saw him holding my hand, he knitted his brow and asked me if I was awake. I didnt get his question but I answered with a yes. He smiled and looked at me with his penetrating gaze I so much love.
- What happened? Why am I here? I cant remember anything aside the movie we were watching a few hours ago.
His smile immediately disappeared and turned into a sorrowful sight of pain. I felt scared. With that expression I could realize that I wasnt good.
- Sweetheart, you were really bad, I dont know how to tell you this but it is serious.
- Yeah, Im dying right?
I laughed.
One of the characteristics he liked about my personality was my sense of humor but sometimes he got really upset because I dont take things seriously as I should
But when I pronounced those words, he started to cry. I froze, I was shocked, he barely cried! I was starting to believe that I was in danger.
- How long have I been here?
He answered with a dry two weeks.
I swiftly put the pieces together and I finally found out the problem; the endless cough, the musculature pain as if I had a cold, the persistent fever, the weight loss, those weird marks and finally and the most important, my irrational fear of the famous medical examination.
I didnt want to hear it and Danny knew that part of me. I never liked to hear the truth when it was painful so, he left me with my thoughts. I went off through my entire life exactly as in the movies, I felt sorry for my family and for the guilt they will feel with my life ending, the hug and the apologize they never gave me because of their inability in letting their prejudices on aside. I thought in our so wished child we never could have and I froze again with the new thought that came to my mind, and terrified by it, I asked him:
- Are you infected too?
- Yes.
We looked each other and we desperately cried. We werent prepared for this. Now that Im in this situation, I cant comprehend if someone is prepared to confront the death.
He said to me all I was for him, and the pain started again. I managed to tell him how much he meant to me, how much I appreciated to have met him, and that I was sorry for leaving him alone.
I felt tired, he kissed me and I closed my eyes
and the ominous beast disappeared in a flash of light.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
anunnaki:
Happy birthday
lecker:
thanx