Machete (spoken in a suave Spanish accent)
Robert Rodriguez is a man of two faces, this is evident in his bodywork, on one side you have a father with kids (who often pen his screenplays) who releases films geared towards kids. I call them kids movies, because in my opinion they aren't family films, they are geared specifically for children. For example, Im past puberty, my balls have dropped, which means my imagination is non existent, or just not as vivid as it use to be when I was kid, thats why I dont find Sesame Street appealing anymore. Sure Sesame Street has educational value, and I encourage any kid to watch it, but it lacks a universal appeal, there is nothing on Sesame Street that I can relate to. I feel the same way every time I watch one of Rodriguezs kid pictures, Im falling asleep and my nephew loves it. Robbys got half the formula down, but that adult demographic is hard to nail, which is why its so surprising that Disney-Pixar is able to nail it so effortlessly every single time, with every single release. Blah blah blah blah....
Went off on a tangent there...
The other side is the genuine film lover. The guy that consistently fucks with systems enforced in Hollywood. The guy that gets away with all of it, because despite his exploits he makes movies for cheap that garner big returns. And most importantly, he makes some of the most memorable films, with the most memorable scenes:
Steve Buscemi's opening scene in Desperado
The convenience store shootout in From Dusk Til Dawn
Johnny Depp's cook murder in Once upon a Time in Mexico
All of Sin City
Planet Terror
All classic.
Violence resulting in blood and guts and sexy women. Not to confine him in that specific category, but this is the Robert Rodriguez that I wholeheartedly appreciate. The guy that embodies the name of his studio.
Machete, I'm happy to say falls in the later category, the good side.
So you all know the story, you've seen the trailer, if you haven't then you should, because as a whole the trailer is more satisfying then this entire movie, not to say were dealing with a pile of shit here: we are not. Basically, the narrative follows the classic ridiculously awesome/badass grind house story structure. Machete, played by Danny Trejo, is one of the only honest federales left in Mexico, he says very little, often letting his machete do the talking for him. From the start, shit goes down hill for him in a bad way. During a shakedown of drug kingpin, Machete loses his partner, becomes newly widowed, childless and is left for dead at the hands of an evil drug lord named Torres. (Steven Segal, awesome!)
Machete ends up in America that is stricken with tension due to a political strife concerning deportation...you know, just like in real life. Anyway, in a hilarious scene, Machete gets picked up by Booth (Jeff Fahey), who offers Machete an Assassination job instead of lawn work. Machete takes the job, but at the moment before taking the shot, he's double crossed, shot and left for dead, with the whole mess pinned on him. Its been a bad year for Machete to say the least, but unfortunately for Booth, he fucked with the wrong Mexican, and before you know it, Machete is on a warpath killing or making porno tapes with family members of everybody that was involved in the whole conspiracy.
That's basically the plot in a nutshell, and for the most part it succeeds. The movie is paced well, the action is well executed, the body count is high, the jokes are funny, the cameos make you smile, the girls are hot and it's all served to you in a reasonable run time that is just over 90 minutes before it gets stale.
The whole thing is well acted for the most part. Stand outs include, Jessica Alba, who plays a Mexican Customs officer, who eventually torn by her duty and the plights of the people she has deported; Michelle Rodriguez who plays the Underground Network Leader She. Both these ladies actually churn out the best performances of their careers so far. Ex-Miami Vicer Don Johnson does an awesome white trash hick, and Shea Whigham was really memorable as one of Booths henchmen. Then there's Steven Segal who's in his own category all together, he basically drops his Spanish accent 30 minutes in and never looks back but it's awesome anyway.
As for the satire, well, I'm not too educated about the current issue of illegal immigration, fences being built to keep people out (which sounds ridiculous in a bond villain way), but the claims this movie makes seem legitimate in very unsubtle-funny way that never takes itself seriously, which is a great thing.
My only big gripe with the whole thing is that the gore effects are ALL DIGITIAL. For the most part, I am physical make up/effects purist, and I just didnt understand why they wouldnt go that route. You can make the argument that it is cost effective and all that shit, but they are basically making a homage/tribute to the old grind house movies, which were all CG free, you guys even had the master Tom Savini, play a cameo. There was no excuse!
So you may or may not leave enlightened but you will definitely be entertained, just don't take your mom to go see this one unless she's really cool.
SIDE NOTES:
The hottest woman in this movie was Michelle Rodriguez, hands down, no contest.
Come in early for the trailers, hopefully you will see the very silly and very serious Denzel movie about a runaway train with explosive chemicals. I laughed till machete started.
Robert Rodriguez is a man of two faces, this is evident in his bodywork, on one side you have a father with kids (who often pen his screenplays) who releases films geared towards kids. I call them kids movies, because in my opinion they aren't family films, they are geared specifically for children. For example, Im past puberty, my balls have dropped, which means my imagination is non existent, or just not as vivid as it use to be when I was kid, thats why I dont find Sesame Street appealing anymore. Sure Sesame Street has educational value, and I encourage any kid to watch it, but it lacks a universal appeal, there is nothing on Sesame Street that I can relate to. I feel the same way every time I watch one of Rodriguezs kid pictures, Im falling asleep and my nephew loves it. Robbys got half the formula down, but that adult demographic is hard to nail, which is why its so surprising that Disney-Pixar is able to nail it so effortlessly every single time, with every single release. Blah blah blah blah....
Went off on a tangent there...
The other side is the genuine film lover. The guy that consistently fucks with systems enforced in Hollywood. The guy that gets away with all of it, because despite his exploits he makes movies for cheap that garner big returns. And most importantly, he makes some of the most memorable films, with the most memorable scenes:
Steve Buscemi's opening scene in Desperado
The convenience store shootout in From Dusk Til Dawn
Johnny Depp's cook murder in Once upon a Time in Mexico
All of Sin City
Planet Terror
All classic.
Violence resulting in blood and guts and sexy women. Not to confine him in that specific category, but this is the Robert Rodriguez that I wholeheartedly appreciate. The guy that embodies the name of his studio.
Machete, I'm happy to say falls in the later category, the good side.
So you all know the story, you've seen the trailer, if you haven't then you should, because as a whole the trailer is more satisfying then this entire movie, not to say were dealing with a pile of shit here: we are not. Basically, the narrative follows the classic ridiculously awesome/badass grind house story structure. Machete, played by Danny Trejo, is one of the only honest federales left in Mexico, he says very little, often letting his machete do the talking for him. From the start, shit goes down hill for him in a bad way. During a shakedown of drug kingpin, Machete loses his partner, becomes newly widowed, childless and is left for dead at the hands of an evil drug lord named Torres. (Steven Segal, awesome!)
Machete ends up in America that is stricken with tension due to a political strife concerning deportation...you know, just like in real life. Anyway, in a hilarious scene, Machete gets picked up by Booth (Jeff Fahey), who offers Machete an Assassination job instead of lawn work. Machete takes the job, but at the moment before taking the shot, he's double crossed, shot and left for dead, with the whole mess pinned on him. Its been a bad year for Machete to say the least, but unfortunately for Booth, he fucked with the wrong Mexican, and before you know it, Machete is on a warpath killing or making porno tapes with family members of everybody that was involved in the whole conspiracy.
That's basically the plot in a nutshell, and for the most part it succeeds. The movie is paced well, the action is well executed, the body count is high, the jokes are funny, the cameos make you smile, the girls are hot and it's all served to you in a reasonable run time that is just over 90 minutes before it gets stale.
The whole thing is well acted for the most part. Stand outs include, Jessica Alba, who plays a Mexican Customs officer, who eventually torn by her duty and the plights of the people she has deported; Michelle Rodriguez who plays the Underground Network Leader She. Both these ladies actually churn out the best performances of their careers so far. Ex-Miami Vicer Don Johnson does an awesome white trash hick, and Shea Whigham was really memorable as one of Booths henchmen. Then there's Steven Segal who's in his own category all together, he basically drops his Spanish accent 30 minutes in and never looks back but it's awesome anyway.
As for the satire, well, I'm not too educated about the current issue of illegal immigration, fences being built to keep people out (which sounds ridiculous in a bond villain way), but the claims this movie makes seem legitimate in very unsubtle-funny way that never takes itself seriously, which is a great thing.
My only big gripe with the whole thing is that the gore effects are ALL DIGITIAL. For the most part, I am physical make up/effects purist, and I just didnt understand why they wouldnt go that route. You can make the argument that it is cost effective and all that shit, but they are basically making a homage/tribute to the old grind house movies, which were all CG free, you guys even had the master Tom Savini, play a cameo. There was no excuse!
So you may or may not leave enlightened but you will definitely be entertained, just don't take your mom to go see this one unless she's really cool.
SIDE NOTES:
The hottest woman in this movie was Michelle Rodriguez, hands down, no contest.
Come in early for the trailers, hopefully you will see the very silly and very serious Denzel movie about a runaway train with explosive chemicals. I laughed till machete started.
atlea:
I thought the twins were hot too
hentaiii:
weren't they the baby sitters in Planet Terror?...I agree, they're hot, but they're also completely crazy!