gion11

So I was thinking about what you said. About how God and the Devil and Good and Evil and everything else is just make believe.

I was thinking, well, you know, that's cool if that is what you think.

But you know, I kind of sleep better at night thinking that there is a God and if I'm a good person and not a jerk off that after I die I get to go to someplace happy. LIfe is kind of long. After a while, especially when you've lived the kind of life that I have lived, you don't really want much anymore.

You've eaten all the food you want to eat. You've heard all the music you want to hear. You've been to all the clubs to which you wanted to go. You've done all the drugs you can handle. You've fucked all the girls you've ever wanted to fuck. You've traveled to Europe, the Caribbean, the pacific islands.

There just isn't really all that much here except for a sunny day. The light reflected off the tides. Maybe some good sushi and a laugh. You reach a state of contentment. You're not really bored, but you could be.

So to what do I look forward? A nice long rest. A place where I get to see my brother again. Maybe we'll go fishing like we were kids. Everybody's happy. And the love of God surrounds us always like our fireplace does our little cat. Perfection in the simplest of things.

I don't want fancy stuff. I don't care. I'd like to just relax, lie down by a fire, watch a nice girl put flowers in a vase. The sun is shining, the cat is tired. Maybe I'm reading a nice book. The girl is happy. You can smell the ocean in the breeze. It's a comfy sofa. Nice friends come say hello. I can play my guitar to myself and sigh. Simple pleasures. Without any complications that life inevitably brings. This is my heaven. Maybe lame I guess, but mine.

a "no comment" comment? haha

i think you had the answer all along, don't forget to look for the good, the divine, the beauty, in the daily sparks of joy and life all around you stay up!

"It was called "The Traitor." It was about the feeling that we have of betraying some mission that we were mandated to fulfill and being unable to fulfill it, and then coming to understand that the real mandate was not to fulfill it, and that the deeper courage was to stand guiltless in the predicament in which you found yourself." - Leonard Cohen

i'm on the 'highway to hell' and loving it. I'm a fucking unapologetic bastard. just give me another drink so I can kick you in the head. Demons are real and they are after me. little do they know, i'd welcome them with open arms. they don't need to play hard to get with this gangster.

all i want is somebody to dig the hole for my grave when i die. 36 is too old.

I would argue Satan makes illusions of miracles at the most...

though honestly i have a deep seeded compassion for the worst of devils, I mean, didn't God create them too? Are they not serving some purpose despite themselves? And after the resurrection won't even the worst have been reborn??

Actually, if you don't mind I'd like to share a poem I wrote about the angel of death, I'll put it in a spoiler, but this is a problem that always grips me. I mean, it's not like evil will just be dissolved and uncreated and forgotten, or will it? But then won't we all go down with it? All are short of the glory of God no? Too many questions!!!! lol. anyway:

Oh! I have a joke for you, Dr. Evil.

How do you make Holy Water?

That's a good point, if you look for good you'll find it, if you look for evil you'll find it... maybe that's the answer, make sure you never stop looking for the good, no matter how deep the darkness gets?

On the other hand, I grew up Catholic, and I used to like going to mass, for me it was like a meditation. However, I have a hard time reconciling the fact that such awful things have happened, especially regarding molestation, I can't reconcile that with attending. And ultimately any religion I've ever looked into/participated in has led me away from itself, if that makes any sense. Which seems to me to be the point, not the religion, but God and living?

Anyway, thanks for sharing.

Change your life pursuit so that it leads you where you aspire to go.