gingerbread

today is a very different sort of day than it has been. fall has been mild, but i woke up today with an almost christmas-y feeling. the curtains had been left open and at noon it was dark and very rainy here in portland. i felt really grateful to be snuggled under quilts with a big, warm softie boyfriend. today is my only day off...
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you can all do what you want, but when i see local girls posting blog entries at 10 pm, november 4, 2008 about their make-up, clothes and member review sets, it really takes a little bite out of that hope feeling i have. change can't happen when you are too stupid to see outside yrself and yr petty bullshit. we are all guilty of that,...
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i just dropped my phone in the toilet. with poop. so it will be funny to take it into the sprint store.

i keep putting off everything in my life until the sunny days start. i keep half-assing it, committing to chores and then fretting that it will be the last nice one. time to commit to poor time management!

i don't want it to end!

should i stay in portland or move to seattle? no decisions until fall.

i walk into the coffee shop, no ones in line, and there are three people behind the counter. and no one says anything to me. for like five minutes.
that's all. i've worked so many fucking service jobs, and i guess i just expect better than what i give. and i'm fucking lazy. but christ.
i feel old.

also my boyfriend moved in, and when...
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i was caught off my guard yesterday. i forgot what being interviewed for shitty jobs is like, and i think it should be illegal to ask questions like, "what are the three words your closest friends would use to describe you?" the only thing i could think to do was mimic the two (MF TERRIFYING) women interviewing me and say, "bubbly". which seemed to make...
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so, i really think the faux-mascara wand vibrator i just got is going to change my life.

wow. speed racer was FUCKING AWESOME OH HOLY SHIT FUNNEST FUN EVERRRRR!

arrrgh i want to become a drop-out! it seems so glamorous. i would make up t-shirts and use it as a mistake to misspell things.
seriously, i still feel passionate about learning (which sounds stupid but is true), i just am not learning anything. all my time goes into school, and i don't get knowledge, friends, anything back. except hopefully a piece of paper. i...
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i remember when i used to rock so fucking hard. now all i want to do is stick "the boy with the arab strap" by belle and fucking sebastian in my pussy.

the other day i was wearing my dead moon shirt, and this guy started talking to me about dead moon and whateverthefuckitis arrows and whatnot, and i felt so fucking fake. it was...
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