Well, so I turned in my latest portfolio for review for this week seven of the summer quarter at SCAD, where I am doing my graduate studies in photography, and last night I had a very odd thought...this portfolio is actually bigger than any other collection that I have put together thus far in my life. And I am not just saying image wise, which it is (currently sitting at 31 images, and I am expanding it to AT LEAST 60 images, if not 61 [unity in how I am thinking about displaying them in a gallery]), but the composition of each image, the story that each image tells, to the story that a smaller group tells, to half of them tell, which takes into account three days worth of arranging and rearranging the images that I have right now so they are just right so each image can both stand alone but fits well into the order that I have them in and the fact that I can, if needed (and when the time comes in the Winter quarter) to defend the collection against a review board...
This really has become a labor of love and passion, and I can honestly say that I feel different about this collection than I have about any other collection, like I have something to prove and something that is actually REALLY worth showing, and something that might change how I am seen as a photographer and maybe even more, how people with anxiety are seen and maybe have them being more accepted.
This is just very odd, thinking that this collection could not only be included finally in a museum like the Kemper Museum of Contemporary Art in Kansas City, Missouri (where I have actually contacted a SCAD graduate who is the head curator of the museum to see if by chance they would be interested in showing the collection) to being published in a book (which one of my professors is really pushing me towards). It feels very odd to be honest, like I am not sure how to take all of this. I am excited, very excited, about the possibilities of what this portfolio could bring, but on the same hand, I am actually very scared of what the future holds now.
The reason why I am nervous about what the future may hold is simply because this collection could be the start of something very big, something that could be life changing for me. Who knows if I am going to get assignments from magazines or clients after this collection and if so, from who. Or am I going to be able to show this in several museums/galleries where I can create a name for myself in the photography world like Catherine Opie or Mike Brodie or Corinna Kern, and be able to land a very nice teaching gig somewhere, at someplace where I can not only teach, but I can (like Opie) be able to work and grow in my work and build on everything so eventually I can have a showing at someplace like MoMA.
Yes, I could be reading WAY too much into things, but I just have a very odd feeling right now, since everyone at school, my peers and professors, are really liking my collection and I have actually been earning better grades than I ever have there at the school, especially from one of the teachers that have been noted as one of the harder graders at the University, and then other professors are encouraging me to expand the number of images so I can have a book made of this collection... I mean fuck...I never thought of having an actual book book made of my photography work, a book that all of you could buy and have on your coffee table at your home or in your book case, and I can have...that just seems very odd to me...but if my professors think it can be done, then it should be, right?
Which leads me to ask a question, how many would buy a photo book of this portfolio if a book is made available after everything is said and done? Let me know in comments below.
As a reminder, this is the portfolio of Sam and her dealing with her issues with anxiety that we are talking about. These images:
Like I said let me know in the comments if a book would be something you all would consider buying or not, if the chance was presented to you.