i'm leaving for florida/the bahamas tomorrow morning at 4am. i thought i'd go get myself a fake tan, as is my tradition when i'm going anywhere warm...that way i can look like i enjoyed the sun without actually venturing out of the shade.
so i found this place near me that does the "california tan." basically, it is a machine that sprays you with fake tan so that it doesn't come out all orange and streaky. it looks fucking amazing.
anyway, so i drive up to this place and see a person (man? woman?) cleaning the outside windows. he/she turns around and i get a shiver down my back...this individual is scowling and is not very pleasing to the eye. i walk closer and realize it's a woman. she goes inside, as she is the person manning the desk.
holy lord...this woman is the best anti-tanning commercial i've ever seen. she looks about 20 years older than she probably is, her face is so so dark and utterly deflated. her skin just hangs. ugh...and you can tell she still tans obsessively. that is probably the worst part.
shit, they usually have young perky blonde girls working at tanning salons so customers aren't reminded of the horror that awaits their abused skin.
the woman was really rude to me for the first half of our exchange, then changed her tune suddenly and became sweet as pie (maybe since i'm so pale she thought i was the enemy, but when i revealed myself as someone desirous of a little bronze, she realized i was playing on her team?)...anyway, i did the fake tan and got the hell out of there.
the image of her face has been seared into my brain...it's going to take a while to eviscerate it...probably until this tan fades and i go back for another.
and the moral of this story is, wear your damn sunblock kids!
so i found this place near me that does the "california tan." basically, it is a machine that sprays you with fake tan so that it doesn't come out all orange and streaky. it looks fucking amazing.
anyway, so i drive up to this place and see a person (man? woman?) cleaning the outside windows. he/she turns around and i get a shiver down my back...this individual is scowling and is not very pleasing to the eye. i walk closer and realize it's a woman. she goes inside, as she is the person manning the desk.
holy lord...this woman is the best anti-tanning commercial i've ever seen. she looks about 20 years older than she probably is, her face is so so dark and utterly deflated. her skin just hangs. ugh...and you can tell she still tans obsessively. that is probably the worst part.
shit, they usually have young perky blonde girls working at tanning salons so customers aren't reminded of the horror that awaits their abused skin.
the woman was really rude to me for the first half of our exchange, then changed her tune suddenly and became sweet as pie (maybe since i'm so pale she thought i was the enemy, but when i revealed myself as someone desirous of a little bronze, she realized i was playing on her team?)...anyway, i did the fake tan and got the hell out of there.
the image of her face has been seared into my brain...it's going to take a while to eviscerate it...probably until this tan fades and i go back for another.
and the moral of this story is, wear your damn sunblock kids!
when ARE you moving to NYC?
Capital HURRY UP!
i wanna see those lines!