Warning: If you are easily shocked or disturbed or offended by descriptions of extreme violence and generally psychotic behavior do NOT read any further.
However, if there those amongst you who
A. have a healthy respect for payback,
B. who qualify as "Red Lanterns" (you know who you are)
C. or who watched "The Crow" and thought "Yeah, that pretty much sums up my views on justice and morality" you may be able to relate.
I have had a really, really bad week and I need to vent.
Oh, and if this gets me banned (don't laugh, it's happened) I have a blog for those who wish to continue down this merry little romp through Hell.
Short Version:
I had a job I loved. I had the skills, the responsibilities were mine to excel at and I was surrounded by what I thought were good people.
I was wrong.
My supervisor, who spoke such kind and friendly words, took a moment of weakness on my part where I felt the need to confess a moment of fear as a sign that I was unfit.
She lied to my face as I left for the day, assuring me of my duties for tomorrow, even as we both knew there would be no tomorrow.
She stole from me my hope, my self-respect, and any hope that there could ever, EVER, be a place for me in the normal world of nine to five.
And gods help me, now all I can think of is massacring all she holds dear before throwing a noose around her neck, slitting the fat bitch from crotch to gullet and tossing her off something tall so that her bowels hit the ground before all of her blood does. It was the manner in which Judas Iscariot was executed and if it's good enough for the blackest soul in Hell (according to Dante), it's good enough for this heaving mass of human feces.
It's pounding in my head like a migraine. Almost a week now.
How does one learn to stop hating? She took from me the means with which I care for my life and the lives of those I care for (My wife and others).
It only seems fair I get to strip from her the ways with which she ensures her own survival as well.
I don't expect any of you to condone any of this, I know what I am and how this portrays me.
But I challenge each and every one of you to look me in the eye and tell me that you have never been hurt. Tell me that you have never been betrayed. Tell me that you have never been cast out and left to despair and fear.
And tell me that once, just once, you did not wish to rise up and have your revenge.
People can't stand thoughts like this, they fear it, because it is in each and every one of us, in the corners of our souls that we only admit to in the darkest part of night when we are all alone and absent from the view of our peers, our loved ones, and our gods.