So another father's day has come and gone. I am one of the unlucky masses to have two dads. I have a sperm donor who planted his seed and then split and didn't try to raise me again until I was 18 and he saw my first tattoo and got a dad like. Then I have my real dad who is actually my step-dad who put in all of the work. My "dad" is the one who raised me since I was 6. He saw my first goal in soccer, taught me to shave, spent most of the year in a car driving me to another soccer tourney and sitting on either frozen bleachers or scorching sun. He is the one that dealt with the cops when I was in trouble, took me to the hospital when I would bail on my skateboard and even the one who held mine and mom's hands when the doctor told them that I wasn't coming back to life. He paid for college, helped me get the hang of things, kicked my ass when I really screwed up. To sum it all up, he is the one who REALLY loves me because he did it all even though I am not his real kid. This weekend my sperm donor came into town and acted all parental at my nephews baseball game. My dad(step-dad) was there, as always, just being dad. It killed me inside to have to be chatty with Jeff(sperm donor) and not be able to tell my dad all of the nice things that he never hears from me but I really mean to tell him. I place nice with the other side of the family for my brother and half-sisters sake, but I die a little inside every time. I try to look at things like the zen practitioner that I am but I hate having to treat my dad like that and I hate that Jeff feels that is the way it should be. You would think that after 20 years of doing this dance I would be very good at this, but it wasn't until college that I began speaking to the sperm donor again and my dad and I got really close. All I can do is live my life and try to be understanding but I don't want to hurt my dad.
this is probably the softest I have been since I was about 9 years old. I care for my dad and appreciate him more than he will ever know. There are no words to describe it.
this is probably the softest I have been since I was about 9 years old. I care for my dad and appreciate him more than he will ever know. There are no words to describe it.