davejj

Irish Humor

Paddy and Mick are walking down a street in London. Paddy happens to look in one of the shop windows and sees a sign that catches his eye.
The sign said: "Suits 5.00 each, Shirts 2.00 each, Trousers 2.50 per pair".
Paddy says to his pal, "Mick, look! We could buy a whole lot of dose, and when we get back to Ireland...
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I'm Just Here For ...

Barry was hired to play trumpet on a movie score and was thrilled when he got to take two long solos.
After the sessions, he couldn't wait to see the finished product. He waited a month and then asked the producer when and where it was going to play.
The embarrassed producer explained that the music was for a porno...
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Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door.
"Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've something' to tell ya."
"Of course yo can come in, you're always welcome, Tim. ... But where's my husband?"
"That's what I'm here to be tellin' ya, Brenda. There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery."
"Oh, God, no!", cries Brenda....
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Apparently H.G. Wells last words were -

Go away, I'm all right!

Excellent.

Poems For Adults ...
(Well, some of them, hehehe!)

Mary had a little pig,
She kept it fat and plastered;
And when the price of pork went up,
She shot the little bastard.

Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two hunks of bread.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a...
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So I get to work the Holidays, 24 hours in two days since we are short and I didn't request the time off. Its not too bad though, atleast I dont have to spend time with my family.

I am just not in the festive holiday mood. I was planning on going to a live jazz band/dance tonight but I had to work this morning. Working with adults who don't appreciate anything you do for them is rather annoying after almost 3 years. Whats worse is when one or two of them are so negative that they effect your mood. (which I think...
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Severl of my friends just got back from Iraq on Friday... I have been taking them out to the bars recently... Haven't had to buy a drink yet. People keep putting them down on our table saying "Nice to have you boys back" and walking away.

I know I am a big guy and have my head shaved but they think I am a military...
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Nothing new - FINALLY!

Pledged to myself to study, exercise and to only drink when there is a reason to celebrate.

Talked to the strength and conditioning coach for a football team, got their workout to build muscle and loose weight (fat). It is a 6 phase year round workout, going to do phase one which is a 6 week plan. Should be interesting, I...
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So this would be my twice a year post. I know I am terrible at these things... I went out tonight and I must have been doing something right since Karma rewarded me with two dates for this weekend.

I went sailing for the first time today. Yeah I know, Not Much of a Pirate.

Friends are like condoms, they should be there when things get hard"