It's 3:50 am, and I am ambivalent.
Had two interviews for work last week, which I hope pays off. After two years of being unemployed and pulling every trick I know out of the book to make ends meet, I need something to get me back on my feet. I had been making a tidy sum as a musician, but with the break-up of the group and the economy and losing some very good contracts, well . . . . . 2+2 you know.
In any event, I have pulled it together with the help of some very dear friends, and am anxiously awaiting the phone call that will say "We would like to offer you the position . . ."
I got out of the house today to meet up with some friends, and the 10 F wind chill bit right through to the bone. I had taken a case of Coke Zero along, and while I was on the way there, one of the cans literally exploded from the freezing temperatures. Scared me silly.
Normally, my blogs might be deep in philosophy, filled with $1M words, and sounding more like some pedagogue rather than tonight's stream of consciousness, but it is late, and I am wanting to sleep. Just trying to wear the brain out so I can just lay down and find myself in the blissful slumber that will teleport me away for a few precious hours from this all too dreary world.
I gained some renewed strength from the unexpected generosity of the friends mentioned earlier, and it is keeping me in generally good spirits, but even through all that I am forced to wonder how long it will last. The invigorating news I have received concerning one of the jobs is holding the demons of the recession at bay at least for the moment, if only in comfort rather than reality.
But I am reminded, however, that in times such as these, there is no benefit to remorse and despair. These things only serve to erode the foundation of our inner core, the place from which we draw our inspiration, hope, and ambition. These last few days have been a time of reflection upon my needs, rather than my desires, and, in turn, has opened some windows through which I can see a path and a plan. I know those things are there, and in the distance I can see a brighter future and a warmer tomorrow. How to get there is the challenge.
Not one that is insurmountable, by any indication.
And I am reminded of Robert Frost;
"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference. "
The choices we make in this life, for good or ill, weal or woe, define us. It is our duty, no matter how far we may have ventured from the mainstream, to hold our heads high and be proud of our efforts. It's hard to be proud of failure - but remember that mistakes are as much a learning process as success. If all we did was successful the first time we did it, there would be no joy in the doing, and no pride in the achieving.
Yes, I have made mistakes - an plenty of them - but some of what choices I made were not mistakes. They simply didn't succeed, and there is no shame in it. It is, indeed, nobler to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune - for through these trials are we made better, stronger.
Well anyhow, OK so I did get deep and philosophical again.
I will see you all in a better tomorrow.
Had two interviews for work last week, which I hope pays off. After two years of being unemployed and pulling every trick I know out of the book to make ends meet, I need something to get me back on my feet. I had been making a tidy sum as a musician, but with the break-up of the group and the economy and losing some very good contracts, well . . . . . 2+2 you know.
In any event, I have pulled it together with the help of some very dear friends, and am anxiously awaiting the phone call that will say "We would like to offer you the position . . ."
I got out of the house today to meet up with some friends, and the 10 F wind chill bit right through to the bone. I had taken a case of Coke Zero along, and while I was on the way there, one of the cans literally exploded from the freezing temperatures. Scared me silly.
Normally, my blogs might be deep in philosophy, filled with $1M words, and sounding more like some pedagogue rather than tonight's stream of consciousness, but it is late, and I am wanting to sleep. Just trying to wear the brain out so I can just lay down and find myself in the blissful slumber that will teleport me away for a few precious hours from this all too dreary world.
I gained some renewed strength from the unexpected generosity of the friends mentioned earlier, and it is keeping me in generally good spirits, but even through all that I am forced to wonder how long it will last. The invigorating news I have received concerning one of the jobs is holding the demons of the recession at bay at least for the moment, if only in comfort rather than reality.
But I am reminded, however, that in times such as these, there is no benefit to remorse and despair. These things only serve to erode the foundation of our inner core, the place from which we draw our inspiration, hope, and ambition. These last few days have been a time of reflection upon my needs, rather than my desires, and, in turn, has opened some windows through which I can see a path and a plan. I know those things are there, and in the distance I can see a brighter future and a warmer tomorrow. How to get there is the challenge.
Not one that is insurmountable, by any indication.
And I am reminded of Robert Frost;
"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference. "
The choices we make in this life, for good or ill, weal or woe, define us. It is our duty, no matter how far we may have ventured from the mainstream, to hold our heads high and be proud of our efforts. It's hard to be proud of failure - but remember that mistakes are as much a learning process as success. If all we did was successful the first time we did it, there would be no joy in the doing, and no pride in the achieving.
Yes, I have made mistakes - an plenty of them - but some of what choices I made were not mistakes. They simply didn't succeed, and there is no shame in it. It is, indeed, nobler to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune - for through these trials are we made better, stronger.
Well anyhow, OK so I did get deep and philosophical again.
I will see you all in a better tomorrow.
I am glad to read that poem today. Thank you.
And GOOD LUCK!!! Fingers and toes crossed for good news on the job front.