Ahhh...I dont check this site for one day and you go and make it all crazy looking....what the fuck?!? The new layout gave me a huge headache at first, but I guess it is okay. Here is my expert critique for the powers that be: Over all I like the layout. I like the idea of sets every 6 hrs. (2 every 24 hrs. was too few, but 2 every 12 hrs. was too much of a good thing) and the member journal update section, but would like to see a more in depth news section on the front page. Take that horse plop for what it is worth. Im sure there is a thread about the new format but Im too fucking lazy to look for that, so, yeah.
If my memory serves me right and if journal updates count towards your thread comment count, then this is my 666th post. All I have to say is ...
Usually school starts the second to last week, but for some reason this fall it starts the last week of September. That means I have an extra week to do absolutely nothing, which kinda sorta takes me to my next point, I have now completely turned into a crazy hermit. I guess Ive always been a bit of a loner but it seems that slowly over the last few years my inclination has turned into more of a compulsion. I know I would probably be happier overall if I broke out of my rut (maybe) but I just dont know how to do that, which kinda sorta takes me to another point in the weird rut department, my sleep schedule is all fucked up again. I was keeping rather normal hours for two weeks or so and was pretty hopeful that it would stick. Now it is back in the crazy apeshit spectrum and it is pretty annoying. I think that is one of my biggest problems, my sleep that is. I have basically no structure in my life, so keeping regular hours is hard to do. Things started getting bad a few years ago but now that shit is just straight fucking bananas. I kind of know that I just need to get into some kind of...er...I dont know what. I mean, I know I need some sort of structure or sanity or regularity, but I dont know what that would be exactly or where the fuck to find it. And yeah, I know, Im the king of half-assed segues.
I have a question, what the fuck are the point of crushes? I mean seriously, getting all weird and gooey over somebody you dont really know can be a pain in the ass. Ive had many crushes over many, at the time, special people over the years. They always seem to end abruptly and often leave me wondering what the fuck the point was to all the wasted time and various bodily fluids. I dont know, maybe Im retarded and just get crushes more than others. And no, Im not talking about anybody on this site if that is what you were thinking.
Here is another question, does it make me a complete loser that I am happy the new television season has started? Ill finally find out what is in that motherfucking hatch on "Lost". There are new episodes of "The Office" to watch and feel oddly pretentious by doing so. I can finally see if all those overly hyped new shows are as lame as they first appear. Man, I am such a tv addict. It has to be the stupidest, most childish, lame ass addiction ever. Seriously, watching this much tv cant possibly be healthy.
If I had to describe my overall mood these days I guess it would be one part depressed and one part anxious, which I know makes all sorts of nonsense. Im in this weird place where Im oddly confused about what the fuck I want to or should be doing big picture-wise. Sometimes the confusion and lack of direction makes me depressed and feel helpless. Other times I feel anxious to fix all the things I dont like in my life but dont know where to begin. Wow, I guess Ive kind of self-psychoanalyzed myself into figuring out that I need to find direction and meaning in my life.
Yeah, thats right, Im sooo totally that emo.
Im going to go listen to some Dashboard and cry myself to sleep. But first Im going to leave myself a testimonial about how super awesome I am. Go me.
Sorry 'bout being a complete weird stranger commenting in your journal too...