I've only really been looking for a job since this morning, when my dad finally decided i've sat on my ass and slept in long enough and it was time to find a new job for real, and I'm already fucking sick of it. I hate going into places sounding like a jackass "derrrhehehe you give me job!!" I don't know. The whole asking for an application process kind of sucks, then filling it out and turning it back in. And if your doing this somewhere like a restaurant, than all the people that already work there stare at you like your a fucking martian and you feel absolutely ludacris for ever thinking of turning in an application somewhere because the only distinct vibe you have leaving the joint is what an ass you just made of yourself no matter how suave you tried to come off. Its the same in retail stores, ESPECIALLY in the mall. Jesus Christ, as if the mall is some fucking giant fraternity and sorority permanently socializing at a mixer, and you weren't invited. How dare you think of turning in an application anywhere at the mall aside from the god damned food court unless your a friend of a friend of someone very cool or radiate out that "i'm a rich bitch and i don't even need a job i just want to hang out with my friends and maybe pick up a guy or two" vibe. God i fucking loathe the mall. Probably why I'll never actually apply for a job in one. Unless its a mall going out of business cuz its trashy and the position i'm applying for is the person that blows the whole thing up. I'd get some satisfaction out of that. Its not even that I'm not a social kid or that I didn't have friends working at the mall or anything like that... its just the whole attitude that happens as soon as you walk thru the door. Kids walking around the mall like their shit don't stink [especially if your an employee of the mall, you either walk around like royalty or else you master the bored look and act as though youhate life, when really you probably begged for that job], and that everyones looking at them and if they're not-then they damn well should be. Ugh. Gag me. My favorite are the tiny girls and boys... like the middle school to sophomore in highschool level kids. The girls walk around looking trashier than $2 hoes on Ash Street, like being a hooker was just what they were genetically programmed to be which is why when its 18 degrees outside and everyone else in the city is wearing fucking eskimo gear, these girls walk around in strappy clear heeled stripper heels, mini skirts, and what i'll call a tube top out of courtesy but its more like a headband that conviently fits around their 12 year old boobs. We'll not even get into their make-up, I don't have the time. [Also a longtime favorite of mine, the girls that walk around in pajamas. This gives off the "i don't care what people think of me" vibe, when really they have strategically planned cutesy pajama bottoms, and sometimes go as far as to include big puffy marshmellow slippers, and probably spent the last hour looking in the mirror trying to master that "i just rolled out of bed" look. These girls walk around in packs and sneer at everyone else who bothered to put on jeans and make snide comments about how pathetic some people are who just want attention. News Flash hunnies, your not fooling anybody. Nobody rolls out of bed with perfect kohl rimmed eyes and matching accesories for their pajama pants. FYI: you look fucking ridiculous. And I definitely do include all the girls that think the sweat pants with words written on their ass like "angel" or "princess" or "i love pink" into this category. If your going to go thru all that effort to look effortlessly cute, you might as well just slap on some jeans. They flatter your ass better than flowy cutesy pajama bottoms or sweat pants anyway] And the guys, 15 year old K-Fed White Chocolate eminem wannabe's trying to smooth talk the 19 year old girl ringing up their new $45 dumbass to big for their head hat and matching bling. These are the guys that walk around the mall in packs like terrified sheep with their chests all puffed out DRENCHED in curve cologne like they just bathed in it for a week, and talk like someone that was rejected from the white rapper show and they're being herded by the hooker sheep dogs, and going pretty much whereever the bitchiest ones seem to tell them to go. Anyone else noticed that? Being an absolute bitch, has become the cool thing to do. I am screwed. I may be a smartass, but when it comes to ordering around prepubescent high schoolers, and letting them lick the dog shit off my bootheel, i just don't have the stomach for it. I also like the "loners". These guys are probably my favorites. They travel in packs as well. Big packs of rain cloudy loneliness. They make fun of everything, and hate everything. They don't usually buy anything, why would they, they hate everything. They attack unsuspecting victims in the traditional drive-by method, of walking by at an accelerated pace and someone within the middle of the posse who's protected by the outer shell will mutter something over their shoulder as the whole crew than proceeds to power walk to the nearest store or escalator to escape any possible retaliation just in case someone actually heard them. Once they're a safe distance away they all congratulation each other on how bad they just burned that preppy bitch. Who at least one of them is inevitably in love with by the way. I'm not going to get into the Goths, Punks, Skaters, or other various rebels right now, I'll leave that for another blog when I'm bored once again. And there will probably also be quite an epic written down about the fucking old woman who feel the need to power walk thru the mall because its cheaper and more social then getting a god damn gym membership and not as cold as running outside like all the other considerate cheap bastards in desperation of getting in shape do. I almost got mauled down by a pack of these crochety old bitches once and it was horrifying. See, obviously I've spent my fair share of time in malls, so all this probably is semi-hypocritical, however my time at the mall is mostly spent going from the entrance closest to my destination, going in, getting what i need, and leaving as fast as my chuck taylors will allow me to. Sometimes its slippery. And sometimes if I have the right company and no other real plans, My companion and I will claim a bench for the day and just watch the passers by and observe the teenage breeding ground without disturbing it and see if anything has changed. It never does. Although I haven't sat in the mall and people watched for quite sometime because my partner in crime in that aspect has somewhat gone off the radar. I'm taking applications for a new companion. It's like a once a month kind of gig when theres nothing else to do and its not quite happy hour yet, and i pay in good company, smartass jokes, and the occasional dinner on me when I'm feeling spunky. Come find me or call me and let me know if your interested M-F anytime after noon. Jesus I think all these classifieds are finally making me go daffy.
I don't get kids today. I was at a fucking McDonalds the other night and there was a group of girls nearby who looked like 30 year old raunchy strippers, and had the vocabulary to back it up. Come to find out they were 15 (and one 16 year old) and "ugh, this is just what we wear grandma, don't be jealous just because we's got what you only wish you had". Yep. This is what a 15 year old said to me. Then her mommy and daddy came and picked her and her friends up and magical coats appeared out of their vaginas the completely covered up all traces of the fact that they just got done working the corner, and make-up melted off like ice cream in the sun, and out went prancing 4 15 year olds and one 16 year old like cherub angels, into Mommy and Daddy's green van. Seriously... I hate to be judgemental of people but the way the youth of today looks, Not only do I weep for the future, but I feel absolutely terrible for the generation after that. Their only influences will be us incredible old farts, and the generation of child hookers and pimps that came before them. Shame.
Anyway. Back to looking for a job i go.
I don't get kids today. I was at a fucking McDonalds the other night and there was a group of girls nearby who looked like 30 year old raunchy strippers, and had the vocabulary to back it up. Come to find out they were 15 (and one 16 year old) and "ugh, this is just what we wear grandma, don't be jealous just because we's got what you only wish you had". Yep. This is what a 15 year old said to me. Then her mommy and daddy came and picked her and her friends up and magical coats appeared out of their vaginas the completely covered up all traces of the fact that they just got done working the corner, and make-up melted off like ice cream in the sun, and out went prancing 4 15 year olds and one 16 year old like cherub angels, into Mommy and Daddy's green van. Seriously... I hate to be judgemental of people but the way the youth of today looks, Not only do I weep for the future, but I feel absolutely terrible for the generation after that. Their only influences will be us incredible old farts, and the generation of child hookers and pimps that came before them. Shame.
Anyway. Back to looking for a job i go.
you said everything I've been feeling for the past two years.
your amazing.