so, I didn't call that girl from last night...whoops...I don't know why I didn't, but I didn't...maybe I didn't cause I'm not that interested in her, but she was showing me attention at the time and it felt like it was the right thing to do at the time...or maybe I wanted to sit my ass on the couch and not do shit all day...call it lazy...call it what ever you want...another blast from my past called me and asked me to a christmas party...so I went with her...she's a rad chick...but we never really hit it off as more than friends, and that's ok...she's into video and editing...so that's really cool...but she just got out of her first real relationship...and I think she just needs a friend right now...I can understand that and fully respect that...I got a hug and that's all I tried for, so that's all I recieved...and I'm ok with that...I don't want to be a fall back guy...another chick kept me on the leash as a fall back guy for three years...I knew it at the time...and thats what made it worse...but I was hoping that she would come around and see that I was the guy for her...that I was a truely nice, respectful, caring, loving guy that was right for her...I was and am still all that, but not for her...i finally realised that and moved on...anyway...we had a decent time...came back to my apt and hung out with my roommate and his girl, watch some tv and she left....good times...now I'm watching the Henry Rollins show and wishing I could be as cool as he is. The end.