captainfurious

went to brush my teeth this morning, only to find this in my bathroom cabinet.

Cue battle music

This thing was so big I needed some sort of magical flaming sword to defeat it

The start of the Lion King always bugged me. You notice that all the animals that turn up to pay tribute are all animals that Lions eat? They basically rounded up all their meat slaves and said "Bow down to the new generation of things that will murder your families"

Also, Simba would have made a shitty king. He had just spent most of his...
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Is this:

(A) a sex toy

(B) exercise equipment

(C) medieval torture