Brain Beats Brawn
I clocked this taxi driver giving mega-verbals to some girls in a very girly VW while I was cycling home tonight.
This didn't, sadly, inspire me to race to their aid. In fact, I barely registered it until the taxi nearly took me out of the game as it raced away up the wrong side of the road (ie mine) while the driver was looking out of the back window.
I went into the kerb as far as I could but he still came close enough that the handlebar rubbed against the bodywork of the taxi. There was then a flurry of brakes and screeching tyres as the driver hurredly jumps out.
Amazingly, he's shouting at me because he thinks I kicked the taxi as he passed and is getting all red and foamy at the mouth.
"Hang on a minute" I say as I get off my bike "I didn't kick it, what you heard was the sound of you crashing into me". He then starts prodding my chest, kicks my bike and asks if I want my cunt kicked in.
"Easy tiger" says I. First thing that came into my head and it really wound him up. "You hit me with your taxi and now you've just kicked my bike. I am looking at your face very closely so I know what you look like. I can read your taxi number and registration plate. Unless you kill me and the various witnesses that this pantomime has attracted then you're going to be spending the next few hours in the cop shop unless you calm down. Get back in your car." I stopped short of clarifying that I don't have a cunt to be kicked in.
His shoulders dropped and he walked away silently.
"Thank you!" gushed the (delicious but too young) girls in the girly VW as I cycled away. I could barely get my ego in the front door when I got home.
About half an hour passed before I had the urge to go out looking for him. It's still burning away inside me.
I hope he picks me up when I'm really pished one night, I'll shit all over the back seats.
I clocked this taxi driver giving mega-verbals to some girls in a very girly VW while I was cycling home tonight.
This didn't, sadly, inspire me to race to their aid. In fact, I barely registered it until the taxi nearly took me out of the game as it raced away up the wrong side of the road (ie mine) while the driver was looking out of the back window.
I went into the kerb as far as I could but he still came close enough that the handlebar rubbed against the bodywork of the taxi. There was then a flurry of brakes and screeching tyres as the driver hurredly jumps out.
Amazingly, he's shouting at me because he thinks I kicked the taxi as he passed and is getting all red and foamy at the mouth.
"Hang on a minute" I say as I get off my bike "I didn't kick it, what you heard was the sound of you crashing into me". He then starts prodding my chest, kicks my bike and asks if I want my cunt kicked in.
"Easy tiger" says I. First thing that came into my head and it really wound him up. "You hit me with your taxi and now you've just kicked my bike. I am looking at your face very closely so I know what you look like. I can read your taxi number and registration plate. Unless you kill me and the various witnesses that this pantomime has attracted then you're going to be spending the next few hours in the cop shop unless you calm down. Get back in your car." I stopped short of clarifying that I don't have a cunt to be kicked in.
His shoulders dropped and he walked away silently.
"Thank you!" gushed the (delicious but too young) girls in the girly VW as I cycled away. I could barely get my ego in the front door when I got home.
About half an hour passed before I had the urge to go out looking for him. It's still burning away inside me.
I hope he picks me up when I'm really pished one night, I'll shit all over the back seats.
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Have a great Hogmanay! xx
You cycle! With these hills!! Impressive!
hugs me