Its now 3 in the morning and I now have one pack left. Not of cigarettes, not even a sixer, pens, rats, not even the thing you strap to your back in an effort to lug around things to make you seem as if you are more interesting then what is contained in your mind. It is 3 oclock in the morning and I have one more pack of Manteka.
Some where last night I was reading about the effects of this drug (aka heroin) . . .it numbs the entire body and then leads to a state of thoughtlessness; which up until deciding to write this was true, in fact for the past 2 weeks that has been true as I have receeded back into my room to do my share and watch endless amounts of movies I have already seen in order for the plot line and all the in depth character developments to do my thinking for me. Royal, Wayne, Tyler, TR, Mcelroy, Dredd; these men have been my brain for the past week. If I had a thought it actually came from their mind and they simply planted it there in the hour and a half that has been alotted to them. They mad me shake my head, they made me laugh, they made me obtain an erection and told me to masturbate, they begged me to sleep. Now that I have one left I think I will do it and allow them to think for me again, this small window of clarity is already making my head hurt and I can feel my eyes eroding out of my face, as if to be snorted back into place and leave me with nothing left to see and there fore not able to see what I have become. I believe I will let royal in, he always thinks good things for me, till next time I wake and find myself with thought . . but till then I leave you.
Some where last night I was reading about the effects of this drug (aka heroin) . . .it numbs the entire body and then leads to a state of thoughtlessness; which up until deciding to write this was true, in fact for the past 2 weeks that has been true as I have receeded back into my room to do my share and watch endless amounts of movies I have already seen in order for the plot line and all the in depth character developments to do my thinking for me. Royal, Wayne, Tyler, TR, Mcelroy, Dredd; these men have been my brain for the past week. If I had a thought it actually came from their mind and they simply planted it there in the hour and a half that has been alotted to them. They mad me shake my head, they made me laugh, they made me obtain an erection and told me to masturbate, they begged me to sleep. Now that I have one left I think I will do it and allow them to think for me again, this small window of clarity is already making my head hurt and I can feel my eyes eroding out of my face, as if to be snorted back into place and leave me with nothing left to see and there fore not able to see what I have become. I believe I will let royal in, he always thinks good things for me, till next time I wake and find myself with thought . . but till then I leave you.
quinn:
get out of your situation while you still can. get help. whatever. it'll kill ya if you don't.