My second blog of the night. Since the first one somehow disappeared after "clicking" on something.
Good things going on: We found a wedding cake place, paid them half and are set to go. I wanted to hug her. I'm sure she thought I was weird enough though.
Not as good: I'm alone a lot. Jonathan gets up at 3 or 4am every morning. I go to bed around 2am every morning. He goes to work. I sit here and wonder what I can do to make my day worth wild. I am a person that has to do something that makes me feel productive everyday. If I don't then I get depressed. If I do I feel good for a couple hours. I have noticed that everyday things like grocery shopping isn't enough. So the wedding cake thing was pretty sweet. But what now?
I got about half way though my last "blog," which is no longer with us, warning others if they did not want to read of my troubles then to move on. I even invited them to stop reading that way I am not wasting someones time. I went on about how I pretty much need friends and wished I could have done that before now. I don't like doing things on my own and hate sitting here all day.
I tried getting out and doing roller derby last year, the skates are in the closet. Just when you think you have grown out of the "I'm older and cooler that you" bullshit, these girls did it. They were far from welcoming. Funny seeing as they needed people and here I was. They also had the "look what I can do" mentality. Which again I was over that when I was 9. Maybe one day I'll try again. But that would be alone and I hate that.
I also mentioned that I still look for jobs everyday. It was more in order when I wrote it first. It was followed with the fact that I can go out and buy stuff, mostly stuff we need, but then I feel like I am out spending money I didn't make.
At the end of my last blog, grr one more time for losing it, I wanted to welcome anyone that does read this blog by asking themselves why they read the blog even after I pretty much told you not to. Which makes me wonder if I may end up with some friends after all?
I hate blogs with no pictures so here I am trying different makeup for the wedding seeing as I have no idea what I'm doing/going to do.
(this blog brought to you by Copy-Often "We keep it in our memory so you don't have to")
Good things going on: We found a wedding cake place, paid them half and are set to go. I wanted to hug her. I'm sure she thought I was weird enough though.
Not as good: I'm alone a lot. Jonathan gets up at 3 or 4am every morning. I go to bed around 2am every morning. He goes to work. I sit here and wonder what I can do to make my day worth wild. I am a person that has to do something that makes me feel productive everyday. If I don't then I get depressed. If I do I feel good for a couple hours. I have noticed that everyday things like grocery shopping isn't enough. So the wedding cake thing was pretty sweet. But what now?
I got about half way though my last "blog," which is no longer with us, warning others if they did not want to read of my troubles then to move on. I even invited them to stop reading that way I am not wasting someones time. I went on about how I pretty much need friends and wished I could have done that before now. I don't like doing things on my own and hate sitting here all day.
I tried getting out and doing roller derby last year, the skates are in the closet. Just when you think you have grown out of the "I'm older and cooler that you" bullshit, these girls did it. They were far from welcoming. Funny seeing as they needed people and here I was. They also had the "look what I can do" mentality. Which again I was over that when I was 9. Maybe one day I'll try again. But that would be alone and I hate that.
I also mentioned that I still look for jobs everyday. It was more in order when I wrote it first. It was followed with the fact that I can go out and buy stuff, mostly stuff we need, but then I feel like I am out spending money I didn't make.
At the end of my last blog, grr one more time for losing it, I wanted to welcome anyone that does read this blog by asking themselves why they read the blog even after I pretty much told you not to. Which makes me wonder if I may end up with some friends after all?
I hate blogs with no pictures so here I am trying different makeup for the wedding seeing as I have no idea what I'm doing/going to do.
(this blog brought to you by Copy-Often "We keep it in our memory so you don't have to")