Member: AesirR

AesirR Looking for par'mach in all the wrong places.

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MAY 29, 2008 @ 12:52 PM | 45 COMMENTS

So here we are it's Thursday already and let me tell you it bloody well doesn't feel like it should be Thursday

First things first. All of you go and comment Mistress_Paine's new set On The Rocks. I'll be watching so I'll come and get you if you don't!

While you're there go comment Social's new set too, Away.

On the topic of photography I don't know if I mentioned but I have started my photography sideline up again properly. It even comes with a new and shinier myspace page so if anyone is interested in adding me on it PM me and I will give you the details.

I'm on a big hunt for models at the moment so if you are a hopefully looking for a set or just fancy doing a bit of modelling please let me know as I would love to work with you. I have a cool idea at the moment which involves a series of themed sets based on The Heroin Diaries, more specifically songs from the Soundtrack by Sixx AM. Each song has such deep meaning and feeling to it and I would love to do something with it. I will briefly point out that these are for my portfolio but could equally double as SG shoots, but they don't have to be nude as I would like to expand into other areas of photography.

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The songs are as follows and jotted beneath are ideas I have for a set:

"X-Mas in Hell"

The line at the beginning of the song "and they haven't been crouched naked under a Christmas tree with a needle in their arm like an insane person" speaks to me and demands a set with the girl posing around a Christmas tree with a junkie twist.

"Van Nuys"

Fairly simple set based in a scuzzy living room with bits of drug paraphanlia etc strewn about with the girl looking frightened and afraid with bruises and whatnot from drug abuse etc.

"Life Is Beautiful"

Well the whole song is about the beauty you find in life so a very gothic theme but bright and airey, coffin maybe to represent the funeral, maybe in a church or something with very gothic funeral attire.

"Pray for Me"

Twisted sort of religious rejection theme is called for here. I mean if you've read either of his books you would know Nikki is big on not letting religion control the person you are and yet he acknoledges its power.

"Tomorrow"

Theme using a mirror as the song is about looking at yourself and being able to live with your decisions and handling change in your life.

"Accidents Can Happen"

This is really about understanding people and their problems. I envisage this as multi but not in the standard pseudo lesbian fashion. More about two women one supporting the other when they need it, yes it may be nude but not in an erotic fashion. Really deep not sleezy.

"Intermission"

Not really a song as such just spoken word but its about the shock at looking back at what you've done. A girl looking through a scribbled diary with random sheets of paper and post it notes all around.

"Dead Man's Ballet"

Very much about wanting to fight to be alive while you're being treated by paramedics so something with a stretcher and medical gear I think would be fitting here.

"Heart Failure"

Drug Scouts of America theme set around train tracks if I can find some where we won't get run down lol, so scuzzy scout uniform is a must.

"Girl with Golden Eyes"

Reminiscing about heroin as a woman, therefore a girl crying over a scratched up picture of a woman with distictly golden eyes set on a bed and turning over as memories are recollected and depicted like the burying with roses etc.

"Courtesy Call"

It's all about receiving a call in a hotel and is based on the section in the book where he od's in a hotel so it would have to be in a roughed up hotel room with a phone that flashes to indicate an incoming call.

"Permission"

The song is written about writing the book and setting straight his life for understanding. Removing clothing slowly while writing at a desk showing the casting away of secrets and lies.

"Life After Death"

To complete the series a set shot in reverse of the filthy naked junkie girl cleaning herself up and dressing again to find her life after death.

So there you have my concept. Anyone feel like critiquing or giving me any ideas to go with please. Or if you feel you would like to take part please let me know as well.

Anyway the rest of the week...

Monday my relatives came from Texas for a visit. It was great to see them as they are lovely people. First thing Alix said to me as she came through the door was where had half of me gone which though slightly exagerating things was really nice. However Glen's handshake is so firm he damanged my already damaged hand more and its actually getting difficult to hold a pen at this point rather annoyingly.

We had a lovely meal of Roast Beef and Yorkshire Pudding, you know the full Sunday roast effort and it was great. We even got a lovely cake as it was Alix's birthday on Wednesday so we celebrated with her then which was just awesome.

Tuesday was just one long day, that's all I will say for the work part, I didn't do much really but I did tidy my office up a fair bit which was nice. The day really began when I went to meet up with Mistress_Paine to give her one of my old phones as hers had been stolen at the weekend. We had a couple of drinks and some food and it was a lovely time with a great chat about all things under the sun from SG to personal shit that's been going on with both of us.

Wednesday, well not much to say. Another slow day at work but I finished early and came home to try and enjoy some more time on Mass Effect. Got quite a bit further than before but am completely stuck or at least I was last night with one bit with Matriarch Benezia, my character seems totally unsuited to deal with her and its getting right up my nose.

Today well its been a long one at work which is part of the reason I'm typing this now. I have got good news in that my new lighting rig for my photography stuff has been dispatched as has my new shiny dell laptop which a picture of the sort of thing is included below. So happy bunny I will be come Monday when they both arrive.

This is what I ordered.

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Otherwise that's all folks for now.

Toodles

G
MAY 26, 2008 @ 04:02 AM | 35 COMMENTS

Hello, I have returned! Been a bit more noisy than I usually would be on one of my adventures around here as I was able to get on the net so you haven't been without me for long and also meaning I didn't have about a bazillion blogs to comment when I got home.

So Thursday was jut another boring day at work. Or was it! I spent the entire day working my way through Model Mayhem trying to find models in the local area and actually getting pleasantly surprised when I found a few people I know from here on there. But anyway I was loosely going through all the models in Yorkshire and Lancashire who didn't specify paid work only and I came out the end of it with about 150 likely candidates which is pretty good going for one look through one website!

Friday morning I ended up running round like a loon trying to get ready to go to work as my Dad was driving in, as he needed to bring a load of marking home with him. We set off quite early, picked up our colleague Mike who lives near us and got there in record time. There was virtually no traffic on the roads at all so I was sat in my office with the computer on for 8:30am! Did a bit of work and lazed around a bit generally until it was time to go at about 11:25.

Geoff's Return to Southampton Day 1!

Headed down to the station and got myself some food as there was no way in hell I was doing such a long journey on an empty stomach. Sat on the top and ate my food, made a mad dash for the loo and back and made it onto the platform with time to spare. Found my seat easy enough, which was next to some dude who seemed fairly cool. Bit of a bloody alcy though, he drank a whole bottle of wine and several cans of Tetley's on the way down!

The journey in and of itself wasn't too bad as it was fairly quiet. Only annoying parts were some people with stupid huge bags who kept biffing me in the face when they came through the door and a group of kids who kept running down the train every now and again and hitting my foot every time I closed my eyes to rest with my music on. They are lucky I'm not armed as with my "you touched me while I'm sleeping" reflex I could have killed them lol. We did get stopped outside Derby I think it was as there was some trespassers on the line and the police blocked all trains coming and going lol.

The joke was despite delays we still got there quicker than expected and I was waiting outside for Tiggie when she arrived. It was so great to be back in Southampton and we hugged and then toddled off to conduct the business of the day. First plan was shopping. We required the ingredients for general foodage on Saturday so we went to Asda and got, bread, bacon and pasta. We then went to see if we could sort out her camera, which had been broken. After a few minutes bandying about with the woman at the customer service desk at Argos she gave her a replacement camera no harm no fuss. Get in!

We meandered back to Tiggies house and had a lovely chat on the way seeing the nice shiny sights of Southampton. We got in and this week's canine occupants, in this case Floyd, Tiger and Captain, lovingly mauled me. They were a little trio of trouble I tell you lol, nah I'm kidding they were lovely. I think I'm getting more used to dogs now I think so I was able to handle them better though I'm still learning. Can't bring myself to be harsh with them at all as I worry about being too harsh.

I sat around chewing the fat with Gemsy and watching random TV for a bit while Tiggie had a shower. Then when she was done I went up to chat with her and listen to some tuneage. I love going through her macbook music, shit loads of Wildhearts and Velvet Revolver, lovely. Then a load sound of barking indicated a new arrival which was in fact xzombieprincessx, looking sexy as ever, rawr lol. While Tiggie dried her hair and finished deciding what to wear we chatted about general stuff and then headed off to the restaurant.

We got there and thought oh no they might be a bit too busy as we hadn't booked but it turned out they really weren't lol. WE got a seat upstairs and began the process of figuring out what to have. The restaurant was La Regatta by the way; lovely menu and the staff are just fantastic. The meal was thusly.

Starters (that we all shared ((except me with the muscles I had the pork loin lol))

Bottle of House White

Muscles
Pork Loin on Bread
Cured Meat Selection

Mains

Bottle of House White

Garlic Chicken for moi
Chicken in a chorizo sauce for the others

Garlic Bread on the side

Dessert

Bottle of House Red lol (Tiggie liked this part a lot lol)

While the meal was going down we had a really fun and happy and at times deep chat about a lot of things and it brought a few things to light that I didn't know and that brought me to tears at one point. I held myself in check though but there are just sometimes that I feel so sad when I hear what has happened to my friends in their lives and I stand amazed at how strong they can be about it.

Dinner pics including all of us together with xzombiprincessx chin butting me lol, also my attempt at a lol Tiggie. I suck but its funny.

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Tiggie LaForge

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Tipsy xzombieprincessx

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Speaks for itself

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We wound up the meal, left a nice tip and then toddled off to get a taxi home. xzombieprincessx was feeling a bit drunk so we dropped her off at home and then headed back to Tiggies. Wasn't much going on in the house so we wandered upstairs and had cuppas and whatnot while watching Stardust on Tiggies bed cuddled up. I love that film and discussed its merits to Tiggie in the phrase "gay cross dressing sky pirate played by Robert De Niro, what else could you want". I had only bought it randomly on the Wednesday as I had seen it for £7. Bargain!

Stayed in there cuddled up chatting again after the film was over until about 3/4am and then as it was obvious I was dropping off I was escoreted to the spare room where I promptly slept for about 3 hours lol. Managed to keep myself asleep a bit longer by forcing myself to do it lol.

The room and us taking random silly pics on the bed.

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Day 2!

So I sat around reading a bit more of the King's Buccaneer that by this point I was at about half way through it. When I got bored with that it was about half ten so I decided to go see if Tiggie was awake. Not a great morning person she isn't but I made up for it by giving her a morning cuddle and we had a bit of a chat again. We then moved on the real business of the day. We even had a master plan. The picture of which can be seen below. Basically it involved lots of tea and Black Books.

The Master Plan. Tea!

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and Black Books

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Yes we sat around working our way through the entirety of Black Books while drinking cups of (decaf at first) tea. We made our way through a fair few episodes and then we went up the road to the co-op to get some more ingredients that included some wine and bread and milk for tea. Also some caffeinated tea bags, kinda defeats the point of getting sugar happy and not wired on caffeine lol. We returned to more Black Books again, such a good show it is.

I will add in as a note here I am getting more and more used to dogs which is good for me. I even sat cuddled up with little Tiger for a while, didn't know much about dealing with dogs at all so I got told off for telling him to do something more than once but I'm learning. They ain't so bad but Tiger is a cheeky little sod how keeps licking things lol, shame he has such a wanker of an owner. The Captain is a horny little bugger, even though it's supposedly about dominance, he keeps humping Tiger, which is weird, but there you go.

Tiggie and Tiger

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Me looking bald hugging Tiger.

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Floyd

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Captain

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We found out that xzombieprincessx wasn't coming back as according to her text she had a "handover" lol. She was still feeling delicate hours later, which is why we are almost constantly taking the mick out of her for being a lightweight lol. So I proceeded to make tea for just me, Tiggie and Gemsy. It was delicious; I made my trademark creamy bacon pasta sauce with conchigli and farfalle pasta. It was absolutely delicious, and Tiggie made some garlic bread to go with it. I loved it and so did they it seemed.

Table setting, dinner cooking and the aftermath.

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After the first two bottles of wine were done we went across the road to liberate some wine from the shop, it was shite wine but we weren't too fussed. At the same time we got some Ice Cream, Magnum for me, Fab for Tiggie and a Cornetto for Gemsy. We then settled in with some more Black Books with the wine. It was quite poignant when the quote about "your 400th glass of corner shop piss" came on, also when I made a joke about asking about a good breakfast wine at the shop when a similar quote appeared on the screen. Scary lol!

Black Books + Wine = Happy

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We also watched the eurovision entry by Azerbahjan or whoever they were, now that was screwy, here we are watching and here even Bill Bailey thinks its weird on the telly no less!

Watching the weird junk.

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See Bill is not impressed

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So we polished off the wine, Black Books and also a chocolate finger biscuit dipper thingy that I got from the shop too and we relocated up to Tiggies room again to snuggle up and watch Spaced. Notice a distinct theme developing, yeah me too. Everyone loves things with Simon Pegg and Bill Bailey in them. If they don't they should be dealt with! Again we stayed up until about 3am watching it and we got through series 1, then an episode into series 2 until I started dropping off again and was dispatched to my own bed.

Spaced!

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More silly and some good pics

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Day 3!

I got up early and went to have a lovely shower. I have now thanks to this lovely shower gained an appreciation for Lush soap products, they are wonderful! I had a smashing shower and then sat down in the spare room to read for a bit and drip dry. Then I got dressed and went downstairs to abuse the Internet for a while. It was such a fun old morning and the dogs were quite well behaved with me. Even found some decent deals on rent-a-cars so Tiggie can come up to the barbecue.

xzombieprincessx appeared on MSN and told me she was coming over soon so I told her to wait for a bit as I was the only one awake. I went up at about half ten to give Tiggie her morning cuddle, it was lovely and I could have dropped off to sleep again. Which is really unusual for me as I am unable to fall asleep again in a day. We then got buzzed when the doorbell went and xzombieprincessx had arrived so we went to hang out with her.

She is a wonder; she comes in and does the washing up from the night before! I of course was liberally teasing her about missing my wonderfully cooked meal and being a lightweight but I am amazed at how much of a lovely person she is. We sat around chatting and trading pics from the nights before and then started on production of lunch, which was bacon butties. Lovely food it is and I had a load but well explained it away as I wasn't going to eat again the rest of the day.

Tiggie and xzombieprincessx

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Tiggie the Dog Lady with xzombieprincessx in the background doing the washing up.

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Oooh and I also got to see the paintings Tiggie had been doing of me and xzombieprincessx. Here they are they look awesome!

Moi

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xzombieprincessx

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We started watching some Shawn of the Dead when we found out xzombieprincessx had never seen Hot Fuzz so we started watching that instead. Didn't see all of it as we had to start packing up for going but we got a good chunk of it down. Gemsy offered to give me a ride to the station as they were going to go out anyway. The traffic was a bit bad so I got a bit worried about missing my train. Maybe sounded a bit aggro at someone who wouldn't move at the lights once they changed.

Got in and the train was there but really confusing as there seemed to be no coach C so I just sat in a basically empty carriage which was unreserved so it was ok. Weird thing was I later found out that it was actually two trains stuck together and I was basically in the wrong one lol. But it was a long journey as thanks to some engineering works we had to go via Doncaster and it took half an hour longer near enough. Finally got into Leeds with two minutes to spare to catch a train but I made it. Got back home at about 9:30pm, basically taken nearly 8 hours to get home lol.

Good news though I managed to finish The Kings Buccaneer and that means in under a week I have both finished Krondor's Sons and run out of new books to read lol. Not to worry I'm sure I'll figure out something to do. Texan relatives coming to visit soon so I need to finish off this blog and then bugger off to do something else.

Anyway, enjoy all the pretty tale and pretty pictures.

Toodles

G
MAY 21, 2008 @ 11:03 AM | 41 COMMENTS

Forgot to bring this home with me last night so its a little out of date lol, there is some randomness to it as I updated it a little. The exam was ok from what I could see but I've been so knackered its left me totally wiped lol. Needed a nap when I got home!

I thought I would take the time to type this at work. It's not yet 10am as I write this and I have already been running around trying to get some work sorted. It's probably too late as well as my boss sent an email out at 8:50 meaning he was here that early. He wanted something left in his pigeonhole first thing so I got it over there before half past and it appears he has gone now as I checked his office. So bugger I guess.

Turns out in fact he hadn't come in yet and I ended up helping him out moving some stuff so I'm evidently still doing a good job. Probably explains why he is also looking at a six month extension of my contract which would take me to January of next year. Awesome!

But to be fair I'm not hugely worried as he pretty much was prepared to accuse me of losing some important documentation yesterday when in fact he had taken it to be scanned and just forgotten where he had left it. The woman I'm replacing who has often been a vast source of frustration is having a rough time of it, it seems there might be something wrong with her baby.

But despite this she is still causing me problems, in one case acceptable ones given the circumstances but not in others. She didn't send me any supporting material for the bid submission which is now painfully weak. I misread part of her email she sent me and attempted to contact one of the people she said was willing to support the bid. I "shouldn't have done this" as he will drop out if we "pressure" him. I'm sorry but when I have a deadline of 4pm to get this information sent out for delivery the next day or it can't be accepted I really don't care.

Another thing that is vastly frustrating me at the moment is my brother. As you know I bought Mass Effect the other day. So I played it most of Saturday and was enjoying it, as I was playing it as a roleplaying game while doing other things I was taking it slow to savour the experience but obviously skipping a few bits here and there. But my brother in his infinite selfishness took the game from my room on Sunday night, has played it all Sunday night and Monday morning and gotten further than me on it and feels the need to tell me about it.

I hate it when he does this, especially with my new games. I once had to take Knights of the Old Republic to Uni with me every day to stop him doing it. But if I want to play on a game he gets it's a no no. I have yet to see neither hide nor hair of Devil May Cry. I cannot understand how he can be so selfish and then act like we treat him bad. You know he even took Assassins Creed out of my room as I "wasn't playing it anymore", as it happened I also got Lego Star Wars at the same time and was playing that more as it was more amusing.

Mini rant over with, frustration vented. Calm now. I have my first and last for this year masters exam tonight. So I'm having a slow day at the moment in the attempt at calming myself down a bit and then taking a blitz session at the revision this afternoon in preparation. I'm not too worried as it's a basic marketing exam and I've been learning marketing as stand alone subjects for the last three years. I will no doubt edit the bottom of this blog tonight when I get home so you can see my impressions of the exam.

Heres a cool issue of the webcomic something positive to cheer you all up after that, assuming it works lol.

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Anyway on Sunday I went over to Leeds to hang out with my mate Adam. We hit up the old hut for a feast, Adam once again proved his weak pizza eating skills and ate 2 out of his allotted 8 slices. The waitress thought I hadn't eaten my fair share and that we had ordered too much so I had to correct her. Then we were off to the gig which started late to my vast frustration but the bands were awesome.

Diamond Dogs - Well you could not find a more perfect support band for The Quireboys, the right mix of smooth, bluesy piano rock and a crazy arse front man to make the songs that little bit of awesome. Then you add in the whole theme of drinking and partying and your well on the way. Hadn't heard much of them but they were pretty impressive and I'm looking into picking up an album of theirs some time soon.

Homemade Sin - I had never ever heard of these guys before this show. Only after someone mentioned the Georgia Satellites did I have a clue who the front man Dan Baird was. I have to be honest they were really good for country rock and roll. Giant solos and massively catchy songs. Especially when they did I Love You Period which was one of Dan's solo songs and is so annoyingly catchy I'm still humming it now.

Quireboys - Well I love these guys as it is so its not surprising I thought their show was great. I was quite impressed by the humour injected through the performance.

Spike - "I had to dig down really deep for the song writing on the new album…"

"So this one's about drinking."

But aside from the late start which could have made me angry they played brilliantly and hit a lot of my favourite tracks though they did miss a few. Sex Party as a finisher was awesome.

But as the start was so late I wasn't able to get the train I needed (I would have needed to leave at 10pm and they didn't take the stage until then). I ended up getting a taxi back form Leeds to Halifax, wasn't so bad it only knocked me back £28 which is good compared to what I thought it could have been. I was home before midnight but spend the entirety of yesterday being knackered because of it lol.

Last night was Parents and Friends night at BB where we finally displayed the robot costume we had been making. I would love to show these pictures to you but I won't as it would be immoral to show pictures of young kids on here without their permission. But it went well even if little Ted is the worse little stink machine of a tiny five year old there is in existence. Seriously his farts are weapons of mass destruction, cheeky little sod kept following me around going Martin I've farted again and making raspberry noises. That was until I slung him over my shoulder and carried him to his parents to ask what they had been feeding him lol.

I know it's going to sound almost absurd but I'm getting an even greater level of respect for Raymond E Feist as an author. Now I'm reading his books from the beginning rather than picking up somewhere later on I really appreciate his skill. The descriptions of love in Prince of the Blood is so overwhelmingly what I feel I'm looking for it almost brought a tear to my eye. I want to be like James and find my Gamina and have it just happen like that. It was so beautifully written it was magnificent and then Kulgan's explanation was truly brilliant to the young Princes Borric and Erland.

Less of the maudlin crap Geoffrey. Bumped into my mate Dan yesterday and had a good chat with him for the first time in quite a while. I really enjoyed it as Dan is a top bloke. Shame I won't get to chat to him on the train as much any more as he is buying a house in Leeds. Won't have to worry about crashing space for future gigs but still it means I won't see him as often without actually going out to see him. On the one hand though it probably does mean I can get to Rock of Ages on a Saturday sometimes. Hell that would be pretty cool.

Thought I would do one of these as Tiggie had one before and I never got around to it. Bands I have seen live, it's a piss poor tiny list really and not complete as I forgot some of them.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

Guns n Roses
Prodigy
The Offspring x 2
Slipknot
Incubus
Nofx
Puddle of Mudd
Hundred Reasons x 2
Amen
Dillinger Escape Plan
The Strokes
Weezer
Janes Addiction
The White Stripes x 2
The Dandy Warhols
The Moldy Peaches
Feeder
New Found Glory
Fenix TX
Guided By Voices
Foo Fighters
Muse
Ash
Sum 41 x 2
The Hives x 2
A
Less Than Jake x 2
Andrew WK
Jimmy Eat World
The Used
Lostprophets x 2
Good Charlotte
Primal Scream
System of a Down
Metallica
Bowling for Soup
Finch
The Datsuns
The Darkness x 2
Staind
Placebo x 2
Blink 182
Blur
Alkaline Trio
The Ataris
Green Day
Dropkick Murphys
The Rasmus
Thrice
Minus
The Distillers
Reel Big Fish
Ash
Flogging Molly
Motley Crue
Killing Joke
Quireboys
Homemade Sin
Diamond Dogs
HIM
Viking Skull
All American Rejects
Capdown



Anyway

Toodles

G

MAY 17, 2008 @ 01:05 PM | 31 COMMENTS

Busy week ended on a busy note, so much bloody work and another injury at the armouries this time to my wrist and hand, its bloody painful but not overwhelming.

Bought me a copy of Mass Effect, American Dad Part 3, Raymond E Feist's Krondors Sons series, Buffy Season 8 Volume 1 and Star Wars Legacy Volume 2. So I have enough fun stuff to keep me going for a while. Off to see The Quireboys at Rios tomorrow, I'm betting I will have to leave early but it should still be good I think.

Anyway the main thrust of the blog is under this spoiler. I had a time of reflection the other day, not sure it leads to much but it helped me out so please read it.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

I know it's going to sound silly and not entirely unpredictable to people who know me well and talk to me often but I do go through these very random and intense periods of self reflection. Unfortunately a lot of these reflection periods often lead me to end up feel dissatisfied with the person I am, while at the same time glad I'm not the person I was.

But on the one hand I have to say I'm a lot happier than I sometimes appear to be. When I go to look in a mirror (which is one of my favourite things to do) I actually like the person I see there these days. I like the angles of my face, my lovely hair and my stupid little beard. Though there are parts of my I don't like I still love my figure, once I would not have dared wear a shirt tucked in on anything other than formal occasions and now I do it for fun to show off one of my two cool belts.

I'm still totally unsure of where I'm going in life but I do at least feel I'm going in the right direction. I have a good job that pays me well for relatively minimal effort on my part. It can be a challenge and I have learnt a lot from being here. So much so that I would like to remain in the academic world for as long as I can, it's less competitive than business and far more cerebral a lot like me.

I do often have issues with viewing myself as an adult. I know I'm mature, hell I've been called an old man for years and not always in a nice context. Tonight alone I was told I'm a planner rather than a let things happen type of person which means Im not going to get the excitement out of life that I want as I'm incapable of letting it happen. Fan bloody tastic, I worry I'm not an adult and it turns out I'm incapable of being young. But seriously I don't feel I've earned the right to be an adult sometimes. I also really shouldn't read psychology writings when I type things like this, more likely to make me worried than help.

A true problem I have is that I often feel I'm too much of a jack of all trades, there isn't anything I have ever really met that I couldn't put my mind too and become good at given a little time. But equally there is very little that I would consider myself great at, so I'm stuck being good at a lot of things and spectacular at very little. This extends to my conversational ability; I can talk to anyone about anything as I know enough about nearly everything to sound like I know the whole.

I try to be nice to everyone I meet; I will not be nasty unless they give me some overt reason and perhaps not even then. I do however hold grudges so when people wrong me it is very unlikely that I will ever truly forgive them. There are some people on this site who have insulted or wronged me and who will forever remain my enemy simply by dint of being unrepentant themselves. If that person had made even the slightest effort to be apologetic I might be willing to forget but not in his case.

I look at what I have achieved in the last 6 months alone and I sit back astonished I truly do. I have never been the most outwardly social critter though I'm striving to change that as I do in fact love social interaction. There was a time, and I look back and hate that me, who never went out and would complain that his friends never called. I took that person out back and shot him in the back of the head. The new me was born the day I got fired from my first job, it was the best day of my life. I was stagnating there and I was growing despondent with my lot in life.

Some folk might seem to think I still am a bit despondent but that's more because I sometimes see myself as still being still. I am a person who is driven, I need to go places, see and do things to make myself a better individual and a more worthwhile member of society. I do doubt myself a lot, but so does everyone. I am envious of a lot of my friends (though they often tell me I shouldn't be) as they have achieved things I only dream of. I long in my heart of hearts to have children one day and a stable happy environment to raise them in, I'm therefore massively envious of all my friends who are lucky enough to have children.

I am envious of lots of things about lots of my friends. Many of them know this as I am not afraid to discuss anything with anyone. I shall not name names obviously but it is important to remember my friends that I am envious because I am proud of you and what you have achieved and wish only to be as happy as I see you in those things. I have friends whose bravery surpasses mine, who stand in the face of hardships I cannot imagine and still continue to be a good person. I envy a lot of my friends long term relationships, they are happy in a way I can not perceive never having had a relationship with a woman at anything past the age of 11.

But then again I have made massive progress. Physically I look at pictures of myself from last year and I hate how I looked. I had a massive bulge of fat under my neck that was the result of sloth at Uni and stress after my Dad had his stroke. I have never been the most physically active person but nowadays I actually try to take better care of myself and do exercise. My exercise might be training in the sword but it's good for me, I have always dreamt of being a swordsman. Now I know several styles of sword hang out with skilled swordsmen and take my lessons from a master. I'm a member of a guild of swordsmen which is an honour in and of itself, granted anyone can be a member but still you have to train and pay to become one.

I used to talk about going to visit my friends and spreading the love far and wide and I never did it. So this year I have used my money to get off my arse and go visit my friends all over the UK. Granted it's not been so far in some cases but in others it has. I never believed I would just toddle off down to Southampton as a matter of course once upon a time but now I do. I plan to visit as many friends as I can throughout the UK and make them all better friends than they were before. People keep telling me I'm a lovely person so I must be doing something right lol.

I know nowadays I have a lot of friends who are envious of me for what I have achieved. I have friends who are models, I have started working towards become a photographer in my own right and I think I'm doing ok. I can take decent enough pictures I just don't have the editing skill to alter them enough at the moment. But there are many of my friends who look at my pics and the sort of pics they are makes people look back and say how did Geoff ever get to do that and not me. If someone could explain that to me I would like to know, I mean I know I'm nice and all but I still just think of myself as a Muppet with a camera who likes boobs sometimes (incidentally that is my new nickname now, Muppet).

Someone said to me the other day that I sounded professional. I like that a lot and it makes me feel quite happy that what I'm doing must agree with me. I pride myself on always being able to sound like I know what I'm talking about but being able to carry it off with people who clearly know more than me is fun. It reminds me a lot of Giacomo Casanova as portrayed by David Tennant, now I'm not saying I'm that handsome gods forbid but I mean in terms of he gets away with things by knowing that nobody can possible know everything you just have to know enough to get by and that little bit extra when it counts.

Love eludes me in the strongest sense. I know I am loved by my friends and trusted moreover. I love all of them deeply and wish only happiness to each of them. But I speak of finding my soul mate if you will. That one person who is my equal and my opposite, my lover and my friend and so much more besides, many of you know of what I speak. I know I search and I know secretly that I will have to wait but I do hope she is around one of those corners some day. In fact I hope she is around any corner, I secretly harbour the feeling that if I just simply forget to check one day that I will bump right into her. Who knows? But the most perplexing and surprising thing is I was walking to the station and a woman smiled at me for no reason, that I noticed it rather than dismissing it was something new and it made me feel happy inside.



So here are some pics to show me as I have been over the years and the changes recently. This first is me in the centre amidst the rugby players at my primary school years back. Bowl cut and all...

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Here me is looking a tool in the things I had left after holiday at a party (you can tell thats the case I mean look at those tan lines!). But how immature my face looked even five years ago.

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This is me in my stressed out fat face mode, I really hated that I was like that. I mean I'm big but really.

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This is the me I love when I look in the mirror and I've changed since then, this was taken in December just as the changes were taking effect.

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Here I am hair down having fun on my birthday with SGUK in Birmingham courtesy of emma_treasure, I think I look really good and happy here. Makes me smile when I see it silly thing that I am.

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Anyway, hope you read all that and please do give opinion, if I'm full of shit tell me or whatever you feel.

Oh and if you wondered,

SPOILERS! (Click to view)
with these added words this blog makes 2007 words lol, a new record.



Toodles

G

MAY 14, 2008 @ 01:37 PM | 35 COMMENTS

So we hit the midpoint of another week:

Go say hello to my very good off the net and on the net friend RaeveR_r as he has been a lurker for years and is just coming out of his shell. Friend him I say!

Work has been very long-winded and tiresome and I have actually been doing a lot of work at work. It's almost shocking! I wrote a bid for an online learning platform for civil engineering and the Dean said it was good and I was dead chuffed!

Otherwise been hard at it all week long working on our next evidence submission which is a pain in the arse but its part of the job. Was happy as shit to discover this morning that there are some pics from my trip to Stoke from the night out, I made facebook friends with a few of the folk I met on Friday and now I haves them mwahahahahahaha!

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The legend that is Geoff Dancing!

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Monday night was BB and we made little things with marzipan and little sweets and shaped icing and such. The kids loved it and I enjoyed chocolate covered biscuits, but my piece de resistance was the following.

The Marzipond

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The Happy Pig (hope he doesn't mind me pilfering his name)

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Today I discovered that thetrainline.com had fucked my Southampton tickets so I had to go on a massive run around on the phone to sort them while trying to finish work and not feel like dying from lack of energy. But I sorted them out for the most part. There will be more sorting.

Anyway I'm in chat as I'm typing this so its not going to be a huge blog but you g et the cribs style view of my house!

Hopefully you will all come to my barbecue too!

The Door

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The Inner Door

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Into the House

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The Hall

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The Dining Room

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The Kitchen

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As I was asked to this is the contents of our fridge...

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Utility

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Garage

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The Office

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Lounge Left

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Lounge Right

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Stairs

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Open air Landing

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Mum and Dad's room

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My room (in need of me finishing tidying, but not as bad as my bro's)

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Bathroom

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Shower room

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Spare Oom

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My bro's pit

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Al's Bearded Dragon, named Bez

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So there you have it!

Toodles

G
MAY 11, 2008 @ 08:14 AM | 36 COMMENTS

Order of business number 1.

I have resurrected bunnypudding from the grey, go friend her or at least say hello as she is awesome!

Secondly

I'm thinking of holding a barbecue the first weekend in July either Friday 4th or Saturday 5th at my house in Halifax, who fancies coming?

Anyway on to the main business. Seriously though how under loved was my last blog, what's going on? So here we have the new blog. With not enough bloody pictures let me tell you.

At work on Friday everything was dull and I got frustrated trying to write some stuff up. But luckily the guy I had coming in for a meeting arrived early and I managed to get through it quite well/ The idea looks good so I should be able to get it sorted. This meant I was able to spend a little time chilling and didn't need to rush off for the train, which was nice.

Train journey itself was fairly uneventful, just a bit of a run when I got to Piccadilly to get to my connecting train to Stoke. But in the end I got there and bunnypudding met me at the station and we had a lovely walk back to hers talking all the way, she has just got her job back so will have money to assist the move to London. We mucked about on the laptop for a bit looking up the restaurant we were going too and then I let her have a play with my camera which lead to these very myspace pictures with me in the background lol.

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Anyway Tragique arrived home, a little upset to tell the truth so I realised my cheer up duties would be needed indeed. Anyway we got ourselves ready and ended up setting off for the restaurant in a taxi, even though it wasn't that far away. We got seated and I ordered us a bottle of rose as that's what they like. We then took a bit of time deciding what we were going to have but the food was delicious.

Moi - Lasagne and a Pizza

bunnypudding - Chicken Salad and Cannelloni

Tragique - Cheesy Mushrooms and a Pizza

It was very good food, the lasagne was big enough to have been a main course. I am proud to say though that I got a bottle of Orvieto Classico which they both enjoyed despite it being white which is not their favourite. We had a brilliant chat over the meal and it was lots of laughs and massively fun. Only sore point for me was that I hadn't made such a good impression on them first time around thanks to the machinations of a certain lady who will remain nameless. That nearly broke my heart, but apparently I am just as nice as I seem when not around crazy people who drive me crazy.

There was a bit of agonising over where we were going to head next but while this was going on we got the bill. Now I showed it to them as I thought it was hilarious that it came to round figures minus 15p. Now I paid it and they brought me change, I felt so silly getting change like that so I left it. But we decided to go round the corner to the Sugar Mill I think it's called. We bumped into a few of Tragique's friends and a chap she knows from her course is massively smitten with her.

We went up to the roof and there was a bunch of people she knows so we all hung out with them, the first lot of drinks however went a bit tits up. A lass who was with the group fell of her stool with such force she knocked all the drinks off the table. Whoomph £10 gone in one moment, but she was alright though and stayed the rest of the night while we were there.

We hung around talking to Tragique's friends and drinking for quite some time, even met a guy who is the spitting image of Dylan Timmins from Neighbours. I shit you not the guy was like his identical twin or something. It was just uncanny. Anyway we then went off to have a good dance. The group we were with basically took over the stage, while I was finishing my drink off bunnypudding drew this on my arm. It's lovely but at the same time she was a bit drunk (I assume) and managed to misspell Tragique so it became Tradze lol.

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I then graced the dance floor with my presence and began the cycle that continued for the rest of the night, random bout of hairy flaily Geoff dancing followed by a trip back upstairs for another drink and chat time. I got further coated in drinks, which was nice when some guy basically poured three quarters of a pint over my legs by accident. Charming eh? The music had been a bit pants most of the night as it was Indie night but there was some gems later on that made dancing even better.

We stayed until quite late on then had a walk home. This walk was a bit uncomfortable as we had acquired some random guy from the club and the guy who is smitten with Tragique. I felt sort of left on my own after a while as bunnypudding was talking to (lecturing) Mr. Smitten and Tragique was talking to the guy from the club, neither conversation I had any business being a part of and in one case didn't want to be. This kind of set the theme for the rest of the night.

But bunnypudding, though she probably won't remember, gave me a leaf and told me it was my piece of Stoke and I was to look after it. Well I did.

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Anyway we got back to theirs and I honestly felt a little left out, both the girls hopped on their laptops and were pretty much instantly distracted by them, to the point of msning each other from two feet away. Some of the activities being partaken of were not my sort of thing so again I was feeling a little left out. Even when Mr. Smitten had left and it was only us and the guy from the club it didn't get better. Despite a bout of board games that I nearly fell asleep during thanks to having been awake for 26 hours by that point I was feeling really alone. Now this was a real feeling that combined with the post alcohol melancholy that I like to call melancoholy Wasn't helped by the fact nobody even noticed when I came back in the room after going to the toilet.

Now this is as much my brain as anything as I started to feel just really wrong, at first kind of jealous of the attention random club guy was getting and the laptops over me. Then I started to feel really bad for feeling that and then I started to worry that I was ruining the night. Then I started to worry about worrying about that. It' a dangerous spiral. Then I had to get out of there, I'm sure it looked like I went off in a huff and I'm not entirely sure that wasn't a small part of it but I feel really bad about it still a day and a half later.

The Dread Pirate Bear has quite a good summary here in post it format. I'm actually thinking of making this a game in SGUK, anyone think it would be cool? I'm thinking of calling it Post It Notations and you have to describe a day or event in few words with little pictures all on the space of a post it note.

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After about an hours sleep I woke up on the very uncomfortable and weirdly mutated "couch". My neck where I had injured it the other week (part of the shoulder damage) was hurting like a bastard and giving me a bit of a headache, which combined with lack of sleep was making me feel shit. Add to that the fact I woke up feeling absolutely terrible about the end of the night before I was just going spare. So I sat around for hours and even sang myself sane again, well nearly.

I kept trying to wake either of the girls up but neither was budging until at about 10am Tragique was awake when I stuck my nose in and let me come in for a chat which was nice. We talked about a few things and it was fun, then bunnypudding woke up ready to destroy the world for having been woken early. We were all a bit worse for wear so we just sat around chatting and whatnot for a bit. Then Tragique tried to get a bit more sleep while I went to get some food (and ibuprofen for my neck) from the shop. I got all the materials for bacon butties

bunnypudding made the bacon up but my stomach just wasn't in it and I couldn't eat more than a few bites. I was feeling extra stupid around this point as I had forgotten that Tragique is a vegetarian, even though I had seen the evidence of this. Man I was feeling a capital fool. Anyway I lay down for a bit to let the painkillers kick in, then Tragique came down for food and we had another chat before she went for a shower. I went up to check on bunnypudding but she was fast asleep so I pretty much went and did the same.

I will be honest I was a bit disappointed that we didn't get to do anything together really on Saturday but none of us were in a fit state. The thing I was really bothered about was the lack of pictures, there is basically nothing to prove I was there. I went back up after waking up with about 40 minutes to my train to chat with them again. I did finally get to take a single pic of Tragique while she was straightening her hair and she does look lovely.

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I do feel massively honoured though that Tragique said she would be willing to shoot an SG set with me. That did massive good to my self-confidence levels, I still often just think of myself as another muppet with a pricey camera who likes boobs too much. I really need to work on getting the balance between my massive ego and my inferiority complex right. Also I wonder why do I have such a hard time believing that I'm a good person.

I got good bye hugs from both of them and Tragique assured me they had both had a great time so it eased my mind a bit. But when you are as daft as me and you worry like shit about things like that and not living up to your assigned duties it really plays havoc with you. Hopefully I can go back soon and make up for being silly and give them an even better time.

But I headed off home and despite getting on the wrong train got home in time for Dr Who and a big steak dinner, which I finally felt able to eat. Still feeling daft about worrying so much about worrying and driving myself crazy but is less of an issue now I have spoken to people about it.

Anyway I better post this now. But go give massive love to both Tragique and bunnypudding if for nothing more than putting up with silly old me.

Toodles

G
MAY 8, 2008 @ 10:20 PM | 14 COMMENTS

Right oh it is Friday. Man that week has gone by quick, perhaps not quick enough but meh.

Wednesday was a bit of an apathy day, it was Lilandra's birthday so I kept her company for a while on msn chatting away about all things Feist. I did do a fair bit of work and it was all going well until the point it turned out that the admin office was completely closed for the day, they were having an away day. So I had done all that work for pretty much sod all.

I picked up a new pair of shades that morning, they are nice, very nice in fact. I went into Woolworths after searching a few other places and found some for £8, looked down the rack and there were some similar ones for £3. Picked them up went to the till and found out they were in fact £1.5. Now how lucky was that lol.

I intended to get home early as I had done my hours for the week. Well I intended to anyway, I got on the train and everything seemed fine and dandy. That was until we stopped suddenly about 2 minutes outside Halifax. Great thinks I, a couple of minutes wait is fine. No not a couple in fact, it was 30 minutes, the train was a hot burning tube of death lol. But I survived as I have a good sense of humour. But it did mean I ended up getting home over an hour later than I had intended.

But I worked my arm out a bit when I got home and it is indeed getting better. My dexterity is fine and I can manipulate my blade well, I can still throw it in the air spinning it at the same time and catch it in the other hand perfectly. My shoulder was a bit sore afterwards but that's to be expected. Then got surprised with a pub tea which was awesome, so much roast pork that was so very delicious!

Yesterday was a laugh. I went to help out at an event my Dad's students were running with a group of kids from a local secondary school. They made a bit of a mullock of it at some points but it was fun and I got to spend some time in the sun. I am of the opinion though that there should be some rules about 16 year old girls. Firstly that some of them are too dense to be alive and secondly some of them should not be allowed to be that hot and allowed out in public. The dense one thought that when the students mentioned organising the Project Management Ball they meant the round bouncy kind!

Played some Lego Star Wars when I got home eventually which was awesome, I am so glad my 360 is back now but I am a little annoyed at the sticky residue they have put on my DVD drive.

Anyway, off to Stoke after work today to see Tragique and bunnypudding. Such fun times ahead. Sorry for the lack of pics, used my camera too much yesterday and the battery went flat lol.

Toodles

G
MAY 6, 2008 @ 01:10 PM | 39 COMMENTS

So its a few days later and that last blog garnered a monster response lol. I had promised lots of photo's with this one but alas I haven't had time so folk will have to wait a little longer for the cribs style look around the interior. I've been at work all day so I haven't had the time.

I'm still dancing round happy and buzzing over random and meaningless bollocks that keeps me happy. Quick summation of the last few days:

- Got finished with the blog on Saturday watched a random bit of TV and went to bad utterly knackered.

- Did pretty much naff all Sunday except watch The Golden Compass, which was ok but felt like it ended a bit soon to me.

- Monday after some fun being yelled at (misplaced anger) the family came up for tea which was grand, also finished my two new volumes of Preacher. Volume 7 is the best in the universe, I wont say way in case I spoil it but wow!

Today I have been working hard while at the same time plotting something fun for this weekend. I'm going to visit Tragique and Bunnypudding for a big fun night out and whatnot. Partly as a cheer up and partly because they are good people.

The tickets are booked, I have picked a restaurant and we shall have a kick arse good time.

Just thought I might explain for those who don't understand me as well as some other people do, I'm not just a really generous person. I get enjoyment out of making my friends happy, so I go out of my way to do that as I know it is the right thing to do. It's not quite as honest as "give without hope of reward" knowing my friends are happy is my reward.

Ooh I also managed to kick a but of thetrainline arse and get me a booked seat down to Southampton, now I just need the return journey lol!

To finish off as we do need a pic here are some of my favourite comic characters:

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Toodles

G
MAY 3, 2008 @ 12:51 PM | 57 COMMENTS

I would like to announce for the benefit of those long time and often concerned readers that for whatever reason and I have no idea why but...

Happy Geoff Is Back!!!



Man I miss that office lol.

Anyway Wednesday wasn't too bad, the drive down was good and we seem to be getting on really well, we got there really early so we hit up Costa Coffee and I had a Mocha and a big chocolate muffin. We talked about family stuff as I'm one of the few people who understands tragedy in a similar way to him (lost his wife to cancer, and I lost my grandpa and my Dad had a stroke so...).

The meeting wasn't too bad and actually had some good points. The joke was we finished and