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sid:
@SOSBANFACH@LITTLEJOHN22 I really wish I didn’t have to talk about this, but unfortunately, the main reason, which you may know, that I’ve been MIA for a majority of a year from the Internet was in fact due to a sexual assault by someone I worked with in the comics/cosplay industry, and the backlash I received when admitting to it months later (backlash that ended up being completely undeserved due to the fact that the same person did the same shit, and some worse, to other women in our area, and despite there being multiple admission other female victims who came forward at the same timeframe, most of us who had never met prior, we victims were branded as liars for the most part and shunned by our local cosplay community.) This is despite some of the girls having MAJOR representation and support within the INTERNATIONAL comic world. I was asked to not go to my local convention despite having more than one comic based on me as a person and my life. I literally became physically (and somewhat mentally, due to being turned down for job after job, threatened by my attacker under both physical and legal action, and there are even lengthy recordings of meetings that he held in PUBLIC which were pretty much the subject of me and the fact that I didn’t want to back down and let my life be ruined by sexual assault *again* as right after my father passed away, a vindictive ex tried to lie about photos he claimed to have l, none were real and they were badly photoshopped, of me in some compremising positions with other women [which weren’t real, but if they had been, so fucking what? Note my lack of multis here on SG anyway. They don’t exist simply because I’ve never shot any, nor am I opposed to, but that’s beside the point]. Anyhow, tired of being anvil victim of dudes not worth my time nor friendship, I backed away from the industry, still received threats through the grapevine, and made myself miserable.) Even with the backing of key industry players, it took some time to expunge all blame from myself, and I am still, sadly, working with a few of the other women and at least one male victim, who didn’t lose nearly the amount of work as we women, but still, justice is justice and in my eyes, should be all or nothing... it’s worth noting that even after I made no legal actions nor threats, and would rather keep things civil, both my mental well-being and physical well-being have been greatly affected by the situation, landing me in and out of doctors’ offices and hospitals, some for days at a time. *I* was branded as the one who did something wrong, pretty much being told to be stronger. When one bottles up sexual assault and harassment since the days of grade school and is told it’s “normal” when you’re a girl, and that you don’t need to even be an attractive one at that, it all has to do with your brain, and sometimes biological makeup, it can be damaging. I guess I am somewhat on the lucky side in that my problems began as I got older, but as far back as I can remember, there was pretty much always some level of others being extremely lewd toward me. I mean, even as a 14 or year old, I was sexually assaulted by name coworker at a store in a mall that I still will not shop at (it’s an international company) who was like 7 or more years my senior, and he was fired because a friend of mine, unsolicitedly asked this man to please stop harassing me, which gave him the brilliant idea to tell my bosses and basically admit to trying to — let’s say sexually do things to me — at work in a stock room where there was video evidence, thus basically admitting to an assault and attempted, you know, getting fired. He came back days later with a gang of his friends and kept saying he was waiting for my shift to finish so he could follow me home and hurt me. I ended up being brought home with a police escort (like that didn’t bring enough attention). The most a screwed up thing wasn’t that, it was that my family were all so wrapped up in their own bullshit, no one seemed to give a single fuck about me or my safety. That’s about the time abuse like that became normal in my life.
Luckily, I am trying to be stronger now. I’m trying to help others in the same situation(s), give advice, etc. Admittedly, it can be tough when you are also fighting a limiting physical disability among the abuse. It’s also kind of fucked up that those who you would think had any sort of understanding would be supportive in some small way, but with the world so fucked up, others can twist it and see it as “attention seeking/whoring”, when in reality, a majority of the time, I am literally only seeking peace, solace, and maybe even a tiny iota of support from other victims so I may possibly have a level of mutual support and maybe even an ounce of mutual help among each other...
I am hoping by being here in San Diego this weekend, at the Comic-Con Mecca, I can peacefully enjoy myself and be undeterred by those who feel the need to ruin things like this for others. I am among good friends and good people, working with some of the people I enjoy most, with a few exceptions of ones missing, sadly, and while I am unsure as to whether or not I can keep going to this con (admittedly, it’s expensive, and gets a bit tougher with my health every year, it is my one massive escape), I really am hoping to make this year a giant success after the year of hell I’ve been forced to muck through.
I’d honestly be humbled and honored by any and all support or encouragement given to me while I am on this journey this week.
Also, anyone from the San Diego area, as per usual, is more than welcome to make some plans for hangouts and high fives with me while I am visiting!
jdgoodguy:
I am so sorry for the disgusting behavior of these men! Please know that not all men are as evil as these, and true gentlemen do exist and appreciate our beautiful sisters.